little black journal

I usually start out each year with a list of about 20 resolutions, then whittle it down to a select few that address varied realms of self-improvement – something health-focused, something relationship-focused, something creatively-focused, something to scratch my organizational itch…  This year, though, I drew a blank. I cribbed two resolutions from where I fell short in 2015 and then got stuck, unable to focus on the broader picture of the year ahead as I got swept up in January preschool visits (how is it that time already?!), and a work deadline, and then Making A Murderer (watch it!  actually, DON’T.).  After spending some time this weekend mulling over what I want to accomplish in 2016, this is where I landed.  I have this nagging feeling that I’m not being quite ambitious enough, that something’s missing, but these dark rainy days have sucked the moxie right out of me and I’m tapped out.  Maybe I’ll do Resolutions Round 2 in the spring, when I’m not tempted to hit the hay at 8:30 pm every night.  Round 1 is as follows:

Make art with Juliette every week.  I gave this one a shot last year and found it to be harder than expected, but I’m tackling it with renewed vigor.  So far, so good – Juliette and I pulled out the pom pom’s and paint yesterday afternoon, and after dabbing a few orange dots on the paper, she looked up at me and exclaimed with great pride, “I made a duck butt, Mama!  I made a duck butt!”  That was all the incentive I needed to keep the art projects rolling.

Get out of auto-mode with my camera.  Also from last year.  Hoping that 2016 is the year I graduate from occasionally-lucky amateur photographer to well-informed amateur photographer.

No angry-yelling at Juliette.  I’ve actually had this one on my mind for awhile, but felt nervous about putting it down on paper as I feel destined to fail.  I mean, she’s two.  And stubborn as all get-out.  This happens at least once a week: I’m standing by the door holding her coat and she’s looking me right in the eyes with her arms defiantly folded across her chest and I’m saying “please, honey, be a helper” and then I’m suddenly shouting, “JULIETTE GRACE!  WE’RE LATE!  PUT ON YOUR COAT!”  And while the shouting gives me about seven seconds of anger-expelling relief, regret is always quick to follow.  So I’m committing to patience and kindness, reminding myself to just take a minute and walk away when the treachery of toddlerhood is too much to bear.  (A small point of clarification: yelling for the sake of her safety is ok, as in “STOP!  DO NOT RUN INTO THE ROAD!”.  Mild to moderate raising of my voice for the sake of emphasis is also acceptable.)

Develop a go-to list of 28 recipes, focused on whole, healthy foods.  This one shows promise, as it touches on two of my most favorite things: eating and list-making!  Shane and I have made great strides over the past couple of years in purging processed foods from our diet, but I’m finding myself in a cooking rut, cycling through just a few simple go-to recipes again and again.  So I’m upping my kitchen game, venturing a little further into the produce aisle and trying new things.  If we love eating it and love how we feel after eating it, it makes the list.

Here we go, duck butts and all!