little black journal

We’ve made a tradition of writing down our New Years resolutions and tucking them into our Christmas stockings, to be pulled out at the end of the year for a check-in.  By the time December rolls around we have only a faint memory of what goals we actually set, which means there’s an element of surprise when we unfold the lists we made 12 months earlier.  There are usually a couple of resolutions kept, a couple of shrugs over resolutions forgotten and unachieved.  And I’m ok with it this way – Schnell resolution-ing comes with a heaping load of grace.  We’ve accepted that it’s only the things we really want to do and really have time for that will bubble to the surface.

That said, even if we’re ultimately just gonna do what we’re gonna do, I still like this practice of taking stock and intention-setting.  I like having this record of evolving dreams and priorities.  I especially love hearing what comes to mind when I ask Juliette what she wants to do in the year ahead (“Go swimming a lot!  Snuggle with Mommy more!  Play cards!”).  Here’s my 2020 hopeful look-ahead:

Re-strike the work/life balance.  I’ve mentioned a few times how all-consuming my job has been lately and I’m ready to pump the brakes.  I’ll keep my laser-focus during office hours, I’ll work the occasional evening when duty calls, but I’m Trying (capital T!) to do away with work being the last thing I think about as I drift off to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake in the morning.  Most of that late night pondering/worrying is completely unproductive, anyway – I have yet to experience a midnight epiphany that solves a budget crisis or gets a much-needed building permit.  So I’m going to limit the off-hours email-checking, bite the bullet and officially work Fridays again (I’d rather work on Friday while Juliette’s at school than work every evening after bedtime), and leave work at work.  Just think of the time and energy this will free up for me!  So I can…

Make art.  Sometimes with Juliette.  I’ve largely been on an art-making hiatus since Juliette was born – most of my creative energy (when I have it) and time (when I have it) has gone toward taking photos and keeping this blog current.  But I miss my sketchbook.  I miss the print-making studio.  I miss using my hands to MAKE.  I’m still putting together the framework for this one, but have a book of drawing prompts that Juliette and I have pulled out a couple of times on quiet evenings at home and the hour we spent doodling different bumblebees was incredibly satisfying.

Bang out at least five home improvement projects.  When we bought our 1950’s house a year and a half ago, we immediately put together a list of 30 projects we wanted to complete over the next few years.  I hopped to it and rolled A LOT of white paint onto our walls when we first moved in.  We fixed a leaky faucet, replaced our upstairs windows, got new gutters, cleaned up the yard, and then we…fizzled.  Transitioned into maintenance mode.  But I’m getting my second wind, ready to bid farewell to our pink toilets.  Eager to give our basement some love.  Eyeing a couple of unsightly shrubs that have gotta go.  Just typing out this list makes me giddy – home makeover round 2 starts NOW.

Play more board games.  Shane and I went out for a date-night/game-night during the holidays at a local game shop and I as I looked around at the small groups of people huddled around us, I was struck by how engaged they all were.  No one was checking their phones or sitting on the fringes.  People were laughing over their Cards Against Humanity or agonizing over their next move in Settlers of Catan and I thought, we should all do this more often.  Playing games forces a focused interaction that I feel like I’m lacking – with Shane, with Juliette, with friends…I hereby deem 2020 the Year of Qwirkle.

And I always include at least one warm-and-fuzzy self-care resolution that tends to fall by the wayside by mid-February, so in that tradition I’m committing to move with intention for at least 10 minutes EVERY DAY.  Take a moment before bed to breathe and to stretch.  Bring back the lunchtime walks.  Do Barre again.  On the very best of days, cross-country ski!

Cheers to a year of aspiration.  And so much grace.

 

(a 2020 Mama-Jules collaboration…)

The 2019 highlight reel!  These are a few of my favorite things…

Favorite book:

As per usual, I fell short of my annual reading goal, but finished 17 books and liked most of them.

Favorite fiction was Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson.  I grabbed this one from the library on a whim while I was waiting for Juliette to pick out her books and it surprised me the very best way.  Woodson has a way of bringing you up close and personal with her characters in so few words.

Favorite non-fiction was Shameless by Nadia Bolz-Weber, because it challenged ideas of mine that I didn’t even know were up for debate.

And favorite of favorites, in a category all its own, was Devotions by Mary Oliver, because…Mary.  I lugged this book around on nearly all of our camping trips and have the fondest of memories of reading about nature and beauty and solitude while the waters of Priest Lake shimmered in the distance.

 

Favorite movie:

I was a year late on watching this one, but I caught Bohemian Rhapsody on one of my flights to San Diego and YOWSERS.  Totally brilliant.  I never really loved Queen, but suddenly found myself with a profound appreciation for Freddy Mercury’s creativity and talent.  Five stars.

 

Favorite TV show:

Again, I’m late to the party, but helloooooo Stranger Things!  I initially passed on the first couple of seasons, put off by the sounds of shrieking girls and screeching creatures as Shane binge-watched this show downstairs, but he finally convinced me to sit down and give the show an honest shot before Season 3 dropped this summer.  So we watched Season 1.  And 2.  And then 3.  And it was good.  So ridiculously, outlandishly good.

(Honorable mention to Succession!)

 

Favorite podcast:

I’m still faithful to my tried-and-true trifecta of The Daily, Reply All and Heavyweight (Heavyweight!  Listen to #27 Scott and try not to cry).  But I’ve got a new favorite, and it’s got very little substance, but WHATEVER.  I’m loving Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend when I want…a friend!  So light, so funny, so easy to imagine you’re in the room with Conan and his assistant Sona.  Best episodes include his chats with Malcolm Gladwell, Steven Colbert, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

 

Favorite song:

Oh boy.  This one is hard.  Especially now, when it feels like we’re stuck in an endless loop of Frozen 2 tracks.  We listened to a lot of Taylor Swift this year.  Hopped on the Billie Eilish bandwagon.  Juliette and I instated a Dixie Chicks revival.  But the song that probably got the most play is Some Type of Love by Charlie Puth – it’s poppy and sweet and perfect for belting out when Jules and I are cruising in the Subaru.

 

Favorite purchase:

We have a concrete pad in our backyard that’s been screaming for a fire pit since we moved in.  After searching high and low for something not-too-big and not-too-ugly, we landed on the Solo Stove and it’s been great!  Compact, burns crazy-hot, and the perfect reason for the kids to gather on the backyard on a summer evening.

 

Favorite personal pastime:

Totally stumped on this one, as I feel like 2019 was the year of “painfully minimal personal time”.  Work kind of sucked me dry last year.  But.  BUT!  The work travel that zapped me was also dotted with some pretty incredible beachfront evening strolls.  How lucky am I that my project site is a mile from here?!

 

Favorite family pastime:

Juliette has recently graduated from mind-numbingly simple games like Candy Land to board games that I actually want to play.  Ticket to Ride!  Harry Potter Hogwarts Battle!  Quirkle!  We’re in such a good game groove right now – I’m loving winter weekend mornings when we can crank up the fire place, pour a couple of mugs of hot chocolate, and open up the game cupboard.  (Again, though, as I say every year, camping ultimately for the win.)

 

And, favorite moments…

 

Show me whatcha got, 2020.

We eased into 2020 nice and slow – I love those few days after Christmas when the holiday bustle has subsided and we can be 100% on break.  Juliette and I hit the library and our favorite coffee shop and perfected Deck the Halls on her keyboard.

(That book!  She’s really rubbing in it with this whole growing-up-fast thing.)

Champagne and Sprite at our favorite Pioneer Square oyster bar…

Followed by a stroll through Occidental Square, which has never looked lovelier.

Juliette and the neighbor kids schemed up a sleepover one night and before I could even ask about the details, they were loading up their wagon with Juliette’s blanket, pillow, and toothbrush.  See ya later, I guess…?

Once all the kids had properly lined up their sleeping bags in the playroom, they spent the afternoon rehearsing a sing-along to Frozen 2’s greatest hits and then hopped back to our house in the evening for a special performance.  The parents were all politely asked to sit quietly and refrain from taking any videos – this was exclusive stuff.  (Photos permitted.)

Juliette’s solo was so sweet.

But the full quartet’s rendition of Lost in the Woods was my fave.

Once everyone traipsed back across the street for bedtime, Shane and I looked at each other in our quiet, empty house and wondered, “What should we do?”  So we went out!  We got super-crazy and ended up playing Quirkle and drinking beer at the neighborhood game store.

We invited the crew over for our annual New Years Eve bash, where we played charades and ate and drank and watched the ball drop in New York City before sending the six year-olds off to bed.

We busted out the Veuve and my grandparents’ antique wine glasses for the midnight toast.  Special champagne in special glassware for the most special of friends.

HAPPY 2020!

We rolled out of bed reluctantly on Wednesday morning, but rallied with the promise of Jack’s homemade bubble waffles.  Juliette put on her princess dress and grabbed a noise-maker and did her damnedest to keep the party going.

And then, as a grand finale to our holiday traditions, the Polar Plunge!  I love this event.  Such community, such euphoria.

One clarification:  I love being a spectator at this event.

Juliette thought about joining the guys this year, but only went so far as to take her shoes off.  I don’t blame her!

I took to heart that old adage about the first day of the year setting the tone for the rest of the year, so I made time to get out for a long walk and to hit the playground with my girl and to cozy up by the fireplace with tea and a book.

We took a family walk at Lincoln Park that evening to catch what will be first of many magic 2020 sunsets.

And then, on that final weekend before heading back to work and school, there was nothing left to do but CHILL.  Juliette and I got a head start on our new years resolutions and crafted and cuddled and spent one last night reading by the light of the Christmas tree.

What a break.  What a gloriously slow, restorative way to end one year and begin a new one.