When Shane and I were dating, Valentine’s Day was always a big deal – he would make reservations at some fancy restaurant and drive down to visit me at college, usually arriving at my door with a bouquet of flowers or special gift in hand. I would look forward to our evening together, thankful that when someone asked me, “Are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”, I actually had something good to say. After we got married, our zeal for Valentine’s Day waned a little bit, but we still celebrated the day, usually with a special home-cooked meal and an exchange of cards. We started talking last week about what we wanted to do for this Valentine’s Day, knowing that I would probably be spending most of the day at the office, as I have a big deadline at work tomorrow. I flipped through one of our cookbooks, gazed into our well-stocked fridge with a total lack of motivation, and finally we looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders with a simultaneous, “eh.” Valentine’s Day can be a great excuse to go out for a nice dinner or indulge in a fancy box of chocolates, but I’ve decided that if you’re not feeling moved to do anything special, just let it go. And so, I am not ashamed to admit that I had cereal for dinner tonight, and after a long day of work, nothing felt better than hanging out on the couch with my husband, playing a round of Tetris, catching up on Project Runway, eating a bowl of my favorite ice cream. As Shane rubbed my feet and asked me about my day, I was reminded that I don’t need a dozen roses or a stuffed Cornish game hen to know that I am loved. I am married to a man that stayed up until 2:30 last night fixing a glitch on my laptop’s photo software, a man that let me watch the latest Project Runway tonight when I know he’d rather have flipped it to the newest episode of 24, a man that has already offered to get up early on his day off to drive me into work tomorrow morning, so that I can sleep in just 10 minutes later and avoid the rainy walk to the lightrail stop. Now if that’s not love, what is?
Archive for the ‘[and then some…]’ Category
Although this month has been full of good times, I admit that I’m ready for January to come to a close, as Shane and I wrap up what has become our annual exercise of strict frugality. We did indeed manage to stick with our commitment of no non-essential spending this month, and maintained a grocery budget of three dollars per day per person, but it was definitely more challenging that I anticipated. I could write a whole blog post about how difficult it was to give up espresso, or lunch at my favorite Thai place, but since there are so many people around the world making much larger sacrifices out of necessity rather than choice, I will refrain from whining about caffeine deprivation or cabin fever. Instead, I can see the great deal of good that came out of this exercise: we spent more time in the kitchen together; we wasted less; we enjoyed the outdoors more; we found ‘solidarity’ with other frugal friends by sharing fabulous potluck meals together on Sunday evenings; and we realized that we can and should spend less throughout the year to come, so that we are able to save more and give more. All good things.
We ended the month in truly frugal fashion, spending the afternoon taking a walk through the wooded park just a couple of miles from our house, and as I started to inwardly grumble a little about the soggy ground, the gray skies, and my hankering for a nice steaming latte, I was struck by the sight of beautiful little leaf buds starting to sprout on the branches of the trees along the path. It was a nice reminder that life is a series of seasons, and that in Shane’s and my life, there is a season to sacrifice and a season to splurge. And as long as we living intentionally and giving generously, there will be blessings to count no matter season we’re in.
This weekend was, in a word, perfection. I consumed massive amounts of peppermint tea, spent countless hours curled up on the couch with the TV remote, and passed the nights enjoying the company of good friends. On Friday night, we headed around the corner to play a little Rock Band with the neighbors – Shane and Justin formed a ‘band’ a couple of weeks ago named ‘Blood Stream’ (yeah, you read that right), and felt like it was time for a reunion tour. They rocked out to the Go-Gos and Alice in Chains, while Lindsey and I giggled at their booty-shaking rock-star moves. So much fun to watch two thirty-year-old guys revert to teen-hood together. We made it home just in time to watch Conan’s last show (when I say ‘watch’ the show, I mean Shane watched it while I fell asleep on the couch).
Saturday was wonderfully lazy – I stayed in my pajamas until 6 pm, spending most of the day watching old episodes of Lost, knitting, and finishing our 2010 calendar. I peeled myself off the couch late in the day to head over to Jason and Nancy’s for our very first crab-cooking extravaganza. Jason had ransacked the Asian market earlier in the day and picked up a two and a half-pound live crab that they were looking to share. Shane and I felt it would be a travesty to turn down an offer of fresh seafood during our frugal month, so I grabbed my crab mallet and a bottle of white wine, and we were off. There’s something a little un-nerving about throwing a living, moving thing into a pot of boiling water, and we all laughed a little nervously as we watched Jason squeamishly transition the crab from the fridge to the pot, but he managed to cook it to perfection, and we feasted on a delicious crab salad, followed by a hearty Udon noodle soup.
Today was another mellow day, with church in the morning, naps and football in the afternoon, and a potluck dinner with friends this evening. Shane and I have found several people here that seem to enjoy eating, chatting, and laughing all in equal measure, and we have come to love the three-hour meals that often occur as a result. My belly is full of potato croquettes and carrot cake, and I am ready to end the day with one last cup of tea. I feel so blessed by a weekend full of solid rest, good food, and truly amazing friendships.
The initial news of the disastrous earthquake in Haiti shook me – I was mortified by the magnitude of the destruction of both life and property and used TV and the Internet to keep myself as up-to-date as possible on the quake’s damage. And then, without really realizing it, I began to distance myself from the gruesome images and horrific stories. I wrote my check to the Red Cross, I said a prayer for the people of Haiti, and I subconsciously tucked the tragedy away in that corner of my heart reserved for seemingly hopeless cases. My apathetic attitude came to light tonight and I knew that I should re-inform myself. I started with a 60 Minutes segment on the latest activity in Port-au-Prince. Tears streamed down my face as I watched bull-dozers dump piles of bodies into trucks headed for mass graves. A child’s leg was amputated with an old hacksaw, for lack of decent medical supplies. A swollen and bloody man was pulled from a pile of rubble after four days of being trapped among the ruins of a concrete building. Absolutely gut-wrenching. I set my computer aside, buried my face in my pillow, and cried.
I don’t mind shedding tears, if that’s the price I pay for being more well-informed. I don’t mind donating money, encouraging my co-workers and friends to do the same, posting ‘pray for Haiti’ messages on Facebook. But none of these things are going to return a lost child to the arms of her dead parents, or reunite a crushed and broken family. My money, my sadness, and even my prayers feel so insignificant in the face of such loss. And so, like so many people around the world, I see a glimpse of just how bad things are in the wake of this disaster, and I am called to…??? God, I wish I knew how to fill in that blank.
photo from here.
The beginning of a new year always tends to throw me into a more reflective state, during which I ponder the roses and thorns of the previous twelve months, and anticipate the joys and challenges that the next twelve months may bring. And as I embark on this little ‘year in review’, my immediate inclination is to say: 2009 was goooood. Shane and I romped through the streets of Paris and sauntered through the vineyards of Portugal; I made some cool stuff and added to an ever-expanding lists of passions and hobbies; I read a lot of books, and got to sit around a table and talk about them with some of my most favorite ladies; I discovered Macrina Bakery’s buttermilk biscuits while discussing said books and determined that butter is pretty much one of the best things on earth; we visited Minnesota and I really, truly felt that ‘Shane’s family’ is now actually my family, too; we completed our first big home project with our backyard makeover and laid the groundwork for some awesome 2010 backyard bbq’s; I watched and cheered with so much pride as Shane crossed the finish line of the Portland Marathon; we were continuously reminded that although we don’t have any family in Seattle, we do have friends that feel like family, and that’s pretty amazing; we celebrated three years of marriage with a perfectly indulgent trip to San Francisco; we spent lots of evening just enjoying the bliss of a quiet evening at home, curled up on the couch together with a good movie and a glass of wine; I discovered yoga, discovered that I am not at all flexible, but also discovered that this can change, with enough practice; I took photos, made drawings out of food, found out about the beauty of a printing press, and stayed committed to my weekly sketches. Yes, it was a fabulous year. There were also trials, in the form of disappointments, insecurities, and missed opportunities, but they didn’t overshadow the abundance of blessings. And I expect 2010 will be the same mixed-bag kind of year – exciting times ahead, with places to go, decisions to make, and things to create. Resolutions? Just to say with total anticipation, “Bring it on.”
Ahhhhh, today was such a good day. Wonderfully low-key, spent hanging out family, eating, opening gifts, eating… I enjoyed an abundance of blessings today, as I tea-partied with my niece on the living room floor, played at the park with her and my parents, sat around the dinner table to eat and laugh with family members I couldn’t love more, and made use of my uber-cool new 50mm lens from Shane. I have over a hundred family photos to sort through, but those will have to be saved for another day, as I’m slowly drifting into a wine/food/bliss-induced coma. Shane and I just wanted to wish you all a merry close to a Merry Christmas. God bless.
The tree has been decorated, the gifts have been wrapped, the cookies have been baked, the holiday parties have been had, and yet, I still feel somehow so ‘unprepared’ for Christmas day. Like I’m missing something amidst all of my checked-off to-do’s. And as I ponder this, I come to the conclusion that I have spent so much time preparing our home and our gifts and our travel plans, and not enough time preparing my heart for the holiday. I feel urged to take a break from the shopping and baking to pause and quietly revel in the fact that our all-powerful God sent His Son to earth in the form of a tiny, helpless, precious little baby. We spent some time with our community group last week talking about Christmas meanings and memories, and J’s comment, “Such a big God, in such a little package” has stuck with me. It’s unfathomable, really, that a tiny little baby, probably looking very much like the babies I see in restaurants with their faces covered in food, or the ones I see bawling in the grocery stores, grew to be the man that would die on a cross for the sins of this world. And that’s what I want Christmas to be about – awe, thankfulness, joy, and the perfect peace that comes with knowing I love a God that is humble enough, selfless enough, ‘outrageous’ enough to leave the throne of Heaven to take the form of a diaper-wearing, crying, cooing little infant. That’s the Christmas miracle.
One of the things that I value most about our church is their willingness to tackle and discuss ‘difficult’ issues, so Shane and I were quick to register for the latest series of depth classes entitled ‘Faith and Race’. Race has always been one of those walking-on-eggshells kind of topics for me – out of fear of saying anything ignorant or offensive, I’ve usually chosen the path of avoidance when it comes to discussions on race. It was nice to be in a room with so many people who were willing to step up take the risk of saying something that might rub someone else the wrong way, for the sake of us all learning about each other and about the realities of a racially unjust world.
There were a couple of topics in particular that really struck a chord with me. One of these was the discussion on ‘white privilege’. During our second evening together, we were all asked to fill out a questionnaire composed of true/false statements such as ‘I can choose a bandage in “flesh color” and know it will more or less match my skin color’, or ‘If a traffic cop pulls me over, I can be sure I haven’t been singled out because of my race’. I answered ‘True’ to all 17 statements. A perfect score. But as other people in my group shared their scores of 10, 9, 8, etc, I became increasingly ashamed of my A+ paper. I felt guilty that I couldn’t relate to other people’s stories of discrimination and inequality. I was living in an easier, more comfortable kind of world, blissfully enjoying race as a total ‘non-issue’. And so I was embarrassed by my privilege. Then I read the questions again, stewed awhile, and the more I thought about it, my guilt transitioned into defensiveness. I didn’t ask for these so-called ‘privileges’. I wasn’t responsible for the production white-person Band-Aids, or fashion magazines filled with supermodels primarily of my same skin color. These were things beyond my control, whether they were fair or not. Sure, Shane and I certainly live privileged lives, but we have worked hard for things like our home, our well-stocked fridge, our clothes-filled closets. So why should I feel guilty? This period of defensiveness was thankfully short-lived as I reminded myself that the church leaders I value and trust were not intending to persecute me because of my race – there had to be a constructive lesson behind all of this. And so I wrestled with this issue of ‘white privilege’ further. And I came to recognize that I do regularly enjoy a number of unearned advantages based on the fact that I am part of the racial majority. But what was I supposed to do with this realization? I was happy to find that one of the topics up for discussion at the learning conference that took place at Quest yesterday was, ‘White Privilege – Now What?’ Jason read my thoughts as he expressed the difficulty in figuring out what to do with the knowledge that we still live in a very racially unjust world, where white people often enjoy certain benefits at the expense of racial minorities. He didn’t give us a checklist of things we could do to right these wrongs, or a twelve-step process for obliterating white privilege, but his challenge to all of us was powerful: he asked us to allow ourselves to live in discomfort – to be ‘agitators for justice’, to be daily aware of and uncomfortable with the injustice of white privilege. God has not called us to live blissfully ignorant lives. No, I don’t know yet exactly how, where, or when I’ll be called to action, but I’m definitely walking around with wider, more aware eyes now. That’s a start.
No great photos or artwork or momentous events to share from the past couple of days, but I am trying to get in the habit of using my Sunday evenings as a time to reflect on the good/fun/productive stuff that took place over the weekend (rather than as a time to dread the inevitable arrival of Monday). These were the highlights:
Mall madness on Friday night with a girlfriend. We both had some decent discount coupons that were about to expire, so we hopped in the car at 7:30 pm, were walking into the mall by 8:00, and scored several amazing deals by the time they locked the doors behind us at 9:00. I tallied up my purchases, and all in all, I averaged a savings of over 50%! Shane rained on my parade when he reminded me that you still have to spend money to save money, but still, I think I did well.
Saturday morning we were up early to head over to Seward Park to run in the 5k Pumpkin Push race. We ran this race together last year and have decided to make a bit of a tradition out of it. I was thrilled to find that I had shaved over 2 minutes off of last year’s time, and Shane was an absolute super-hero, taking a whole 4 minutes off of last year’s time. It was a beautiful day to be out for a run along the lake – clear, crisp, and full of beautiful fall colors.
Saturday afternoon was spent picking out plants at the local nursery and then planting them out back – we still have some work to do in our new yard, but it’s coming together really nicely. I can’t wait for the day when the planting is done, the patio chairs are purchased, the weather is good, and we are able to enjoy a glass of wine on our new patio.
We spent this evening with the neighbors, making more dumplings (soooooo good) and carving the pumpkins we picked up at the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago. Our little jack-o-lantern is flickering on our front porch as I type, signaling the approach of Halloween, which means November is right around the corner. Hard to believe…
We are closing the weekend with some quality veg-time, watching an episode of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’, sipping a cup of tea, and enjoying the warmth of our cozy living room while the rain falls outside. Ahhh, Sundays…
Burgers and beer and Quinn’s; lots and lots of rain; a quick trip to Snoqualmie Falls with my parents to enjoy the (wet) fall colors; a visit to Swanson’s Nursery to pick out a tree for our new backyard (backyard reveal coming soon!); and many hours spent at home enjoying the comforts of home-cooked food, time with family, and steaming mugs of tea. Fall is good.
