little black journal

Shane and I were in need of a date, and the weather today lent itself perfectly to an outdoor rendez-vous.  Yes, that’s right, the sun shone in Seattle today!  A January miracle…  We thought the west-facing view from Lincoln Park in West Seattle would be ideal for sunset-watching, and so we hopped in the car and made the quick drive over there.  Man, it felt good to be enjoying the outdoors after so many days of being cooped up inside.  Rejuvenating.

In reparation for all of the money we spent during the holidays, and in preparation for our upcoming trip to Europe, Shane and I are focusing on frugality this month.  We set some ground rules on the 1st and committed to sticking to them throughout all of January:  don’t eat out, don’t go shopping, and don’t spend any more than $200 on food and groceries during the entire month.  In some ways, this has been surprisingly easy – I haven’t even noticed that we haven’t set foot in a restaurant for over two weeks.  And the fact that we have friends who love to get together at home for a movie or some games on a Friday night means that our social calendar hasn’t suffered (in fact, we’ve been spending more time than usual with friends during the past couple weekends).  Other things have been harder to deal with – I miss being able to grab a cup of coffee and sit in a cafe for thirty minutes before work or during lunchtime.  I regret not being able to take advantage of all those after-Christmas sales.  And grocery shopping certainly takes more effort when you’re counting your dollars.  But I find that we are cooking more, we are eating healthier, and, most of all, we are wasting less.  When you’re trying to avoid having to make another trip to the grocery store, it’s amazing what you can scrounge up for dinner out of pantry odds and ends.  Yes, sometimes this means cereal for dinner, but sometimes this means pasta tossed with olives, feta cheese, and chicken sausage.  It’s turned out to be a fun challenge in a lot of ways.  And although I look forward to being able to occasionally grab a latte before work come February, I do hope the restraint we practice this month will create some more conscientious spending habits for the future.  It’s a good way to set the tone for the year, as we re-examine our financial priorities and set ourselves up for things like travel, charitable giving, and a family.

Usually the beginning of a new year finds me feeling nostalgic and a little sad about the passing of another year and another holiday season.  I resist taking down the Christmas tree, knowing that it will be at least eleven months before Shane and I can embark on our next tree-finding adventure.  I tend to dwell on the things I could have/would have/should have done during the previous year and set all kinds of resolutions to compensate for missed opportunities or experiences.  But this year, I find that I am particularly forward-looking, as I anxiously anticipate all that 2009 may bring.  I am overjoyed with the knowledge that we will be going back to Europe in the spring.  I expect to finish up my architectural licensing exams within the next few months.  I will see my niece turn one in March.  I begin a new art class in three weeks.  We will continue to enjoy good times and good food with the community of friends that we’ve developed here in Seattle.  I will watch with so much hope and optimism as Barack Obama becomes president later this month.  I will continue to blog, to sketch, to make things, to take photos, and to strive toward becoming a more creative individual.  I will rejoice in the blessings that God has heaped upon us and pass His goodness onto those around me.

Cheers to a year of so much promise.

I filled up the last page of my sketchbook/journal the other day and am looking forward to cracking open another fresh, new Moleskine notebook.  I have been using these same journals for over five years now and get such a sense of accomplishment from seeing them all lined up on our bookshelf, knowing that between the simple, black, nondescript covers lie words, drawings, and mementos that detail some of my most precious memories and ideas.  I became attached to my first Moleskine when I was living in Paris – I never left my apartment without my sketchbook in hand.  I spent hours sitting in cafes, jotting down verbal and graphic impressions of all the new places I was seeing.  I reread some of my entries and can almost put myself back on that sidewalk terrace, with pencil in hand and that tiny cup of espresso in front of me.  That journal was my constant traveling companion.  When I returned to the States in 2004, my sketchbook became a place for me to compose and chronicle my thoughts and ideas on my thesis project.  Upon graduation from college and soon-after engagement to Shane in 2005, my journal took on the form of a wedding planner, filled with to-do lists and doodles of invitation ideas.  In 2006-2007, I journaled and sketched much less frequently as I settled into the routine of my job and my marriage.  There is a random entry here and there about a book I read or a gallery opening I attended, but for the most part, entries are sparse.  In 2008, as noted here, I began my weekly sketch initiative.  This has been an excellent incentive for me to regularly, creatively put pen to paper.  My weekly sketches thus far have the taken the form of a lot of abstract graphic doodling, which is fine, but my hope for next year is that I do more real-life drawing of actual objects and places.  So, cheers to a fresh, new palette and to lots of journal-worthy, sketch-inspiring experiences in 2009!

I got a present in the mail today that made me laugh.  My blog post about our trip to Minnesota to visit Shane’s family was titled “City Girl in the Country”.  Well, thanks to my father-in-law, I can now wear this hat and be a “Country Girl in the City”.  Funny stuff.  Thanks, Denny!  Now if only I had a pair of overalls…

Today was our last full day here in Minnesota, and I would definitely say that we’re ending our trip on a high note.  Our bellies are full, the dishes are done, the games are put away, the kids have gone home to bed, and I’m taking a moment to reflect on just how wonderfully blessed I am.  I’m filled with this sense of such pure contentment. 

I am so thankful for my family (both blood relatives and in-laws).  I missed my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my niece today, but I could not imagine feeling any more at home than I do here at Shane’s parents house.  They continually amaze me with their generosity and graciousness.  Shane’s sister, brother-in-law, nieces and nephew are such a blessing to us in the way that they live out life as a loving family.  How lucky I am that “holidays with the in-laws” is something I look forward to and cherish.

I’m thankful for our health.  Shane and I are looking forward to getting up on Saturday morning and going for a nice, long run together (the freezing weather here in Minnesota has prohibited much outdoor activity for the past week).  We should not take for granted the fact that we have both the ability and the desire to get out and be active together.

I’m thankful for our home, which day by day, comes closer to “home” in the truest sense of the word.

I’m thankful for the time and the will that I have to pursue my interests and hobbies.  I am gradually becoming more well-read, I am sharpening my skills as a photographer, and I am developing my artistic gifts.  I find such satisfaction in these small, but quite meaningful, accomplishments.

I am thankful for our financial security.  May God lay peace on the hearts of those who are struggling to keep their heads above water during these times of economic uncertainty.

I am thankful for the very close-knit group of friends we’ve come to know through our church.  I am constantly amazed by the talent and blessed by the thoughtfulness of these people that have done so much to make us feel rooted in Seattle.  Community is a valuable, beautiful thing.  And we’re living it.

I am thankful for Shane.  To think that I ever wondered whether or not this was the man I was supposed to marry.  He continues to impress me with his generosity, his ambition, and his unfailing, 100%, all-out commitment to our relationship.  I could sit here and wonder what I did to deserve the love of this man, but my list would always come up short.  That’s the beauty of our marriage - I don’t “deserve” his love, but he lavishes it upon me anyway.

May God bless all of you.  And may we remember to say “thanks” daily (rather than annually).

I took another licensing exam on Wednesday night, which meant that my weekends and evenings prior to that were filled with studying.  Many nights, I fell asleep with my flashcards in my hands or my study guide propped up on my chest.  Notes and books were strewn about the living room.  From the minute I schedule an exam, it becomes a constant, nagging weight on my shoulders.  What a relief to have another test over with and to be able to put that stuff away for a little while!  Thursday night, I reveled in the bliss of an obligation-free evening and spent some time knitting, baking, and returning a couple of overdue phone calls.  Made a batch of peanut brittle and finished up a knitted Christmas gift.  Called my best friend and chatted with her for nearly an hour.  That’s the upside of all these tests and all this studying – when I do have free time, I tend to want to make the most of it.  I don’t spend too many nights just vegging out in front of the TV anymore (although there certainly are times when vegging is completely necessary and acceptable).  It feels good to get back into my neglected hobbies, even if this break may be short-lived.

Saturday night I tore myself away from my study materials (sweet relief!) and Shane and I headed over to Capitol Hill to enjoy an evening of live music.  We bought tickets a few weeks ago for the “Hotel Cafe Tour” solely because we are both big fans of Rachel Yamagata, but we were pleasantly surprised to find that the four other artists on tour with her were extremely (though not equally) talented.  Meiko opened the show and was charming and beautiful, with her incredibly sweet voice.  She makes strumming the guitar look deceivingly effortless.  Emily Wells has this very cool hip-hop/violin/live-mixing-chamber thing going on.  With the use of a recorder and some fancy equipment, she layers her vocals over her violin over a deep hip-hop beat to create this fascinating “one person symphony”.  I was entranced.  Lenka was good, though quite bubbly, and possibly a little too Feist-like.  I like Feist, but I also like originality.  Thao Nguyen was so much fun to watch, with the way she bopped around stage with her guitar.  She reminded me a little of Bjork, but still had her own thing gong on.  She’s one of those singers that can “scream” and still make it sound musical.  And then there was Rachel Yamagata.  This woman blows me away.  She can sit at a piano and woo you with her deep, bluesy voice, and then stand up and rock out on her guitar like the bad-ass that she is.  All in all, a very good show.  And it was nice to see something in a small venue like Chop Suey – we weren’t more than 15 feet from the stage.  The performer-audience interaction that comes with such a small space adds a lot to the experience.

All of that said, I have a confession: I am not perfectly cut out for this whole hip live music scene.  After two hours of standing in the middle of the crowd on the beer-splashed concrete floor, my feet began to hurt, my back began to ache, and I became increasingly irritated by all of the concert-goers around me.  I was annoyed by the guy standing next to me who keep swaying to the music and bumping into my shoulder.  This dude in front of me with the biggest hair ever kept blocking my view of the stage.  I started to wish that I’d worn shoes that were more orthopedically supportive, rather than my cute little ballet flats.  And I was hot, desperately wanting some fresh air, but not wanting to give up my spot so close to the stage.  Tiredness set in around 11:30, and I was trying to hide the fact that I couldn’t help yawning every 10 minutes.  Is it possible that at the young age of 27, I have become so un-hip that I can’t thoroughly enjoy a two and a half-hour set?  Are Shane and I resigned to a lifetime of spending Saturday nights at home, eating ice cream in our pj’s?  Hopefully not (though I do love our weekend pajama parties…).  I’ll pretend I’m cool for at least another couple of years.

I loved the idea behind this post I saw on Simple Lovely – a list of meaningful things, small and simple, that you want to accomplish before your next birthday.  And since I just had a birthday, that gives me nearly a year to get these 27 things done.  I will keep you updated on my progress…

1.  Go to Europe (I realize that this is hardly “small and simple”, but we really are determined to get back to Paris within the next year).  This item is intentionally at the very very top of the list.

2.  Make an apple pie.  Then eat it with vanilla bean ice cream.

3.  Put our favorite wedding photos and mementos together into an album (hopefully before our third anniversary!).

4.  Learn how to use the vintage Polaroid camera that Amanda bought me for Christmas last year.  Could turn out to be a very fun little toy.

5.  Make something out of the beautiful wool blend fabric that I picked up for super-cheap at the thrift store several months ago.  The sewing machine Shane bought me two years ago has been collecting dust for far too long.

6.  Eat a burger at Quinn’s on Capitol Hill.  I’ve got to taste the alleged goodness for myself.

7.  See a play.  Preferably something dramatic, and preferably at a small, intimate venue.  We don’t take advantage of the theater offerings in Seattle nearly often enough.

8.  Clean out the closet underneath the stairs to make room for the wine rack that Shane keeps talking about buying.

9.  Run a 10k race.  Or two 5k’s.  5+5=10, right?

10.  Play in the snow – hopefully we have the kind of winter this year that will allow us to do this in our backyard, but if not, I’m happy to head east for a snowball fight.

11.  Make mulled wine, and invite some of the neighbors over to drink it.

12.  Take a ceramics class.

13.  Read something that will advance me in becoming a more critical thinker in the area of theology.  Bonhoeffer?  Chesterton?  Not my typical “fun” reads, but important to take on, nonetheless.

14.  Branch out musically and expand my iPod playlist.  I’ve had Ryan Adams and Sufjan Stevens on repeat for too long now.

15.  Check out a Seattle coffee shop I’ve never been to before.  It’s good to have my favorites, but I’m in a bit of a cafe rut.

16.  Learn how to hit a tennis ball so that it consistently goes over the net, but not out of bounds.  I’ve discovered that this is harder than it looks (particularly for an athletically challenged person such as myself).

17.  Make my own butternut squash soup.  This is one of my favorite fall foods.

18.  Get my architectural license.  Once again, not “small and simple”, but I’m already over halfway there (and so ready to be done!!!).

19.  Plant something pretty in the flower box outside our living room window.

20.  Have a get-dressed-up, get-out-of-the-house, all-about-us “date night” with Shane at least once a month.  This might just be for dessert or a cocktail (we don’t have to spend money on an extravagant meal), but I think it’s important to have these special “kinda fancy” evenings together.

21.  Spend a day on Whidby Island, checking out the local scene there.

22.  Develop a list of 15 simple meals that we both enjoy and figure out what kind of basic ingredients we can keep on hand in order to prepare these meals with minimal planning.

23.  Buy a great pair of leather boots that I could wear with jeans or a skirt, dressed up or casual.

24.  Add some color or decor to the walls of our bathroom.  That’s the one room in our house that has been “decoratively neglected”.

25.  Finish the two incomplete paintings that have been sitting on my easel forever.

26.  Write a letter and send pictures to Marcel, the boy in Rwanda that we are sponsoring through World Vision.

27.  Keep blogging.  So far, I’ve kept up with my commitment to averaging 2 posts a week.  Reflect on what I’m doing well and what I could be doing better.

It’s go time.

Shane is working late tonight, which initially bummed me out, but rather than feel sorry for myself (see previous post), I decided to make the most of my time alone and enjoy a “me-night”.  I came home, opened a bottle of red wine, put on my most comfortable pair of sweat pants, and curled up on the couch with a few of my favorite things: my current knitting project, my little black journal, and a good book.  With Over the Rhine playing on the stereo, the rain falling outside, and a comfy blanket wrapped around my shoulders, the stage was set for a perfectly relaxing evening.  And I soaked it all in.  Felt good.