little black journal

I’ve been a bit off-kilter these last few weeks, feeling like I’m busy but not really doing anything. This is typical Kelly behavior – I get all caught up in wanting to be productive and have something to show for my time that I forget how worthwhile the “non-productive” stuff of leisurely weekends can be. I could use more reminders that there is indeed value in a Saturday trip to Bainbridge Island or a Sunday afternoon nap, even though I haven’t made/cleaned/”checked off” anything. Note to self: smell the roses! And don’t feel bad about it!

All of that said, I’m not letting myself off the hook completely – I’m still committed to growth and self-betterment and all that jazz, so I’m checking in again on my resolutions, wanting to know where there’s room for improvement (while still giving myself the occasional pat on the back).

Read the Bible in its entirety. On track! And man, did it feel good to hit that 50% mark this week. It’s been a slog through 1 and 2 Kings and 1 and 2 Chronicles, but things are on the upswing. I like Elisha. Except for that part where he summoned two bears to maul the group of boys that called him “baldy” – that was weird… I mentioned in my last update how I was struggling with the angry, vengeful God of the Old Testament and I recently read this book in an attempt to dive deeper into the Bible. I’m still reconciling Old Testament God with New Testament Jesus, but my perspective has definitely broadened over these last few months. Pat on the back for breadth of perspective!

Catch up with a friend over coffee every week or two. I continue to be so thankful for the friends that have become our family up here, for the people that don’t hesitate to stop and ask me how me I’m really doing. There have been times in the past month when I’ve sat with friends and laid all my sorrows out on the table like a ratty old deck of cards, and there have been times when I’ve eaten chocolate cake and laughed until my cheeks hurt. So I’m not going to get hung up on whether or not that weekly coffee date is on my calendar – right now, I’m just dwelling in this spirit of gratitude and leaving myself open to opportunities for both sharing and listening.

Read the Economist leaders each week. I give up.

Check out one new (to us) Seattle restaurant each month. Eating out? Nooooo problemo. We haven’t been anywhere fancy in awhile, but we have recently discovered a pretty decent neighborhood joint in Bent Burger (I still can’t believe Shane ate that whole beef patty/hot link/fried egg/grilled cheese stack of a burger), and I am loving me some good farmer’s market fare. I’ve already mentioned my fondness for Broadway’s Kedai Makan, and Columbia City’s naan stand, Tandoozy, is scrum-diddly-umptious.

Juice at least once a week. I’m still tracking with a glass of the hearty green stuff on weekends, and also experimenting with some new in-season fruits. Sparkling water topped off with a batch of fresh watermelon juice? Hellllllllloooooooooo, Summer!

And an update on my big sugar reduction resolution: I haven’t had a Skittle or a soda for weeks, but damn it, it’s ice cream season! And two Red Mango yogurt shops just opened within three blocks of my office. And there will most certainly be s’mores on our camping trip this weekend. It’s like the sugar gods have joined forces to tempt me. And oftentimes, they win. But I did walk right past that plate of huge cookies that sat on the counter of our office kitchen on Wednesday afternoon. Small victories, folks. Small victories.

Something about the onset of summer kicks my butt into healthy overdrive.  The brightly colored produce popping up in the markets makes me rethink my eating habits, the arrival of tank top weather makes me hyper-aware of my less-than-toned upper arms, and the sunshiny evenings leave me without an excuse to spend my weeknights curled up cozily on the couch.  So here I am, squirming uncomfortably in my too-tight skinny jeans, bound and determined to shape up.  I’ve activated my subscription to Barre3’s library of online videos, I’m logging more miles than usual on the old running shoes, and, Lord help me, I’m cutting back on my most favorite food group:  sugar.  Oooooh, how it pains me to put that last one on the list.  Because I don’t just have a sweet tooth, I have sweet teeth.  I crave it all – cookies, chocolate, ice cream, pastries, candy, sugar, sugar, SUGAR…I’m strung out, folks.  So like an addict truly committed to recovery, I told myself last week that I was going to cut it all out.  No mas.  Cold turkey.  That resolution ended up lasting all of eight minutes, because first, who am I kidding?  And second, do I really want to live a life riddled with so much self-denial?  I’ve adjusted my goals a bit and have settled on a couple of rules that feel achievable.

1) Quality over quantity*.  Cut out the high fructose corn syrup and the nutritionally empty sugar fixes.  I dug through our snack cupboard and threw away a box of Red Vines and a bag of Skittles yesterday.  It felt like such a shame to waste all those beautiful flavors of the rainbow, but if I’m going to stick with this, it had to be done.

*Birthdays, anniversaries, and major U.S. holidays may be occasions for both quality and quantity.

2) Fruit first.  If I’m craving something sweet, I eat an apple or a handful of berries.  If that doesn’t cut it, by all means, I can indulge in a good piece of chocolate or a scoop of ice cream, guilt-free.

I’m one week into this little experiment and feeling pretty good – those first couple of days of detox were pretty rough (picture me rummaging through my desk drawer during my usual post-lunch sweets craving, praying that there was a stray Starburst or an old Snickers bar tucked away in the recesses of my cabinet), but my cravings are gradually lessening and I’m hoping my energy levels will increase as I stick with this.  Besides, who needs all the flavors of the Skittles rainbow when red comes in so many juicy hues?

Contrary to what our Sunday afternoon nap schedule might tell you, Shane and I are a pretty active couple – we try really hard to stay fit and exercise several times a week.  And since we enjoy each other’s company so much (six years and going strong!), I’ve been looking for a way for us to work out together.  Finding common ground in the athletic arena has been tricky – Shane bails after about seven seconds of Warrior 1, so my yoga and Barre3 videos are of no interest to him, but he runs like a madman, so his slow and steady jog is my all-out, Cujo-nipping-at-my-heels kind of pace (after my last blue-in-the-face attempt to keep up with him, I decided we would not run together again unless I had a pair of rollerblades strapped to my feet or he had a 25-pound sack of flour strapped to his back).  I don’t really like biking, and he loves a Saturday morning 20-mile cruise around Mercer Island.  It seemed exercise was just one of those things we’d have to do separately, until he registered for the Seafair Triathlon and undertook the burden of learning how to swim.  He signed up for lessons at the public pool and joined my gym so that he could practice there.  I was on the swim team when I was a kid and hadn’t really done a lap since, but I offered to tag along and cheer him on.  And Holy Speedo!  I love being back in the pool! We’ve been swimming together a couple times a week, and I’m feeling great, enjoying the progress I’ve seen both of us make in just a few short weeks.  We’ve added a pool workout to our new Sunday routine, right between church and a visit to the amazing Malaysian foot cart at the Broadway Farmer’s Market (more on that in another post), and we felt so proud of ourselves today when we finished our longest distance to-date.  He’ll still go off and run his seven and a half minute miles, and I’ll still hold that Sun God pose ’till my legs shake, but the pool?  That’s our territory.

I’ve been doing a lot of list-making and goal-setting lately – I’m thinking about projects I’d like to do around the house, Shane and I are making more long-term plans for our finances, and I’m filling my little black list-book (yes, I have a book of lists…)  with places I want to go, things I want to make, and books I want to read.  I’m a gal with high hopes and lofty aspirations.  The execution?  These days I’m adding a lot more to my lists than I’m actually crossing off…  But in the spirit of follow-through, I’m looking back at my New Year’s Resolutions for a first-quarter evaluation. And…don’t judge.

Read the Bible in its entirety.  I’m a few days behind where I need to be (if I can power through 22 chapters of Deuteronomy and Joshua today, I’m golden!), but I’m hanging in there.  This has been harder than I anticipated.  Carving out 10 or 15 minutes a day is not so bad, but spending all that time with the God of the early Old Testament?  Wowsers.  He was a demanding, angry, vengeful God.  As a child in Sunday school, I heard how nice it was for God to give Noah a heads-up so that he could build his ark and save all those animals – we tend to forget that He sent that flood to wipe out the rest of mankind.  In God’s defense, people been actin’ crazy back then, but still, it’s a stark contrast to the stories of compassion and kindness and sacrifice I’ve come to know so well through Jesus.

Catch up with a friend over coffee every week or two.  Lately we’re spending most of our weekends in the company of friends, with Friday nights full of laughter and good food, but real, deep, life-giving girl talk?  I still want more of that.

Read the Economist leaders each week.  Fail.  Total, utter fail.  I think I struggled through three issues of the Economist before just throwing my hands up in the air and reaching for my laptop to read about the latest in home decor and Spring fashion.  The magazine was just so dang dense. I’d stumble upon something digestible, like a paragraph on New York City’s infestation of bedbugs, but then I’d turn the page to find a dissertation on the state of the economy in China.  And with all the reading I’m doing in the Bible and for book club and to keep up with the Hunger Games craze, spending two hours on a Sunday slogging through the Economist wasn’t working for me.  So I’m on the lookout for a simpler way to stay in the know on current events (does The Daily Show count?).  Stay tuned.

Check out one new (to us) Seattle restaurant each month.  Score!  We’ve got this one down.  Chloe and Locol in February, Skillet and Madison Park Conservatory in March, and plenty of goodness lined up for April and May.  Easy-peasy.

Juice at least once a week.  Semi-score.  We’re juicing most weekends, but I’d really, really like to find a way to work this into my weekday routine.  And I could stand to mix it up a little more – apples, kale, celery, lemon, guzzle and repeat.  Maybe it’s time to venture into the wild world of watercress?

Cheers to steppin’ it up from here on out.

Yes, I’m a couple weeks late on this – I’ve spent quite a bit of time lately reflecting on the ups and downs of 2011 and am just now getting on board with 2012 and all it has to offer.  Without further ado, the list:

Read the Bible in its entirety.  Even though I’ve spent my whole life being part of various churches, I think there are still parts of the Bible I have yet to crack open.  And so when our pastor challenged us to spend the next year going through the whole, daunting, entire thing, Shane and I jumped on board.  It’s going to take some big-time commitment, especially once we hit Leviticus, but I’m all in.  Bring it, Moses.

Catch up with a friend over coffee every week or two.  My life is full of people that I want to know better, but I suppose I have some initiative issues when it comes to relationships – my homebody tendencies usually win out on a Saturday afternoon.  Wine, pie, and ice cream sundaes are also acceptable means of relationship-building.

Check out one new (to us) Seattle restaurant each month.  We still have much love for our tried-and-true neighborhood pizza joint, but every time I open our latest issue of Seattle magazine, I can’t help feeling like we’re missing out on a whole lotta culinary goodness out there.  On the list:  Spinasse, Kona Kitchen, Maekawa, and June.

Read the Economist leaders each week.  Several times, I’ve expressed a desire to be more “in-the-know” when it comes to current events, and several times, I’ve fallen short.  For months now, Shane’s been leaving his copies of the Economist under my nose, opened to stories he thinks I’ll find interesting, and this year, I’m validating his efforts.  My husband will be so happy when he can throw out words like “Gitmo” and get more than a blank stare in return.  This one’s for you, babe.

Juice at least once a week.  We invested in a nice juicer over the summer, and we were both feeling fantastic at the height of our kale/celery/carrot/apple intake, but lately the Breville isn’t getting much use – it just sits on the counter and stares me down as I grab that carton of whatever’s-on-sale OJ from the fridge.  Ideally, we’d be juicing every other day, but in the winter, I’d settle for just one tall glass of hearty green stuff each week.

Cheers, 2012 – I’ve got a good feeling about this year.

Clearly, I love summer. I love basking in the sun, wearing tank tops and flip-flops, watching our garden grow. I really love ice cream, bratwursts hot of the grill,  and generous pours of white wine…  Fresh berries, crisp salads, and tall glasses of ice water are on the list, too, but my ice cream to lettuce ratio has been on the high side lately, leaving me feeling slow, tired, and a little…soft.  Most days, I tend to eat whatever I want, figuring that any not-so-healthy cravings are generally balanced by my healthy cravings and my regimen of regular exercise.  But somewhere along the way (probably right around my second ice cream bar and third glass of wine as I sat on the patio last weekend), I got off-balance, and have been feeling the need for a healthy reset.  I’m not one to diet, since self-denial is not one of my strong suits, but I am on board with new ways to increase my vita-intake, so I decided on Monday night to bust out the juicer I borrowed from La Verne last week and give it a whirl.  I got home from my run and tossed a few stalks of kale, a lemon, an apple, and a handful of grapes into the juicer, and wow!  Holy Green Juice, Batman!

I’m sure the boost I felt was psycholgical as much as it was biological, but I felt great.  So great, in fact, that I decided to embark on a little produce-intensive ‘detox’ for the rest of the week.  I’ve been replacing my morning breakfast (usually an Americano and a granola bar or muffin) with a tall glass of fresh-made green juice, and have replaced my lunch (usually a sandwich and chips from home, or calorie-rich Thai or Mexican take-out) with a heaping plate of fresh fruits and veggies.  I thought about trying a raw dinner as well, but I’ve really wanted a hearty, hot meal at the end of the past couple of days, so I’ve been making veggie stir-frys with brown rice after work, followed by a handful of berries for something sweet.  This is only a three-day trial, as a life without coffee or dessert sounds incredibly tragic, but I’ll carry a few of this week’s habits with me as I move forward.  I’ve got my eye on a juicer of our very own, and hope to make use of it at least four or five times a week.  I’ll (try) to limit my evening rummagings in our well-stocked chocolate bowl.  And I might let my friend Donna convince me to embark on a hard-core juice fast someday.  But I’ll also eat ice cream on hot days, order a latte when I want an afternoon boost, and visit our favorite pizza place when the mood strikes me, ’cause giving up that stuff?  That’s just crazy talk.

For years now, I have struggled to find an exercise regime that is both challenging and achievable.  I am a stellar goal-setter, but my follow-through has always been lacking.  However, I think I’ve finally settled into a routine that works for me – run and some kind of weight-training two times a week, and one hour of yoga or pilates at least once a week.  I’ve been on this kick for six months now, and I’m feeling good.  So good, in fact, that I decided I need to step it up just one more notch.  My legs and core are getting the work-out they deserve, but when it comes to arms, I’m all noodle-y.  I’m that girl that gets on one of the lifting machines, sets it to the absolute lowest weight possible, does about four-and-a-half reps while making that squinty ‘this-is-so-hard’ face, wipes my brow, and then heads over to the balance ball or that fantastic obliques/twisty machine.  I get a bit of an arm work out when I do yoga, but spending 10 or 15 minutes in downward-facing dog isn’t cutting it.  I’m still feelin’ weak.  And so, in some act of ambitious insanity, I have decided to do the 100 push-up challenge.  The deal is: follow the schedule for six weeks, and at the end of the training, you should be able to do 100 consecutive push-ups.  Shane is doing it, as well as a couple of different friends of ours, and so I hopped on the bandwagon in hopes of turning my spaghetti arms into lean, mean push-up machines.  Tonight was my first night, and I struggled through my sets of twos and threes, but I did it, with the added challenge of having a husband that likes to watch and critique my push-up form (so you all know I’m not getting away with my usual wimpy knees-down push-ups).  Should I mention that I felt like I strained myself just flexing for this photo?  Seriously, this will be interesting…

I struck another item off the list today when I finished the Mercer Island 10k.  Now don’t let the title of this post fool you – “victory” does not signify any sort of record-breaking time.  It just means that I was able to run (translation: jog) the entire race without having to stop at all to catch my breath.  I was able to hang with the “recreation runners” and ended up finishing ahead of a little more than half the women there.  Shane ran too and did really well – he has become quite the hardcore runner these days.  Despite the sense of dread that set in last night at the thought of having to get up early and run in the rain, I am so glad we did this.  I’m proud of us, and it’s nice to feel like I’ve earned my Sunday afternoon nap and bowl of ice cream!  I have been asked by a couple of friends to run a half-marathon with them in June, but I’m remaining non-committal at this point – my jello-legs are telling me that it would have been impossible to run two of these 10k’s back-to-back.  Maybe with enough training – we’ll see…

I loved the idea behind this post I saw on Simple Lovely – a list of meaningful things, small and simple, that you want to accomplish before your next birthday.  And since I just had a birthday, that gives me nearly a year to get these 27 things done.  I will keep you updated on my progress…

1.  Go to Europe (I realize that this is hardly “small and simple”, but we really are determined to get back to Paris within the next year).  This item is intentionally at the very very top of the list.

2.  Make an apple pie.  Then eat it with vanilla bean ice cream.

3.  Put our favorite wedding photos and mementos together into an album (hopefully before our third anniversary!).

4.  Learn how to use the vintage Polaroid camera that Amanda bought me for Christmas last year.  Could turn out to be a very fun little toy.

5.  Make something out of the beautiful wool blend fabric that I picked up for super-cheap at the thrift store several months ago.  The sewing machine Shane bought me two years ago has been collecting dust for far too long.

6.  Eat a burger at Quinn’s on Capitol Hill.  I’ve got to taste the alleged goodness for myself.

7.  See a play.  Preferably something dramatic, and preferably at a small, intimate venue.  We don’t take advantage of the theater offerings in Seattle nearly often enough.

8.  Clean out the closet underneath the stairs to make room for the wine rack that Shane keeps talking about buying.

9.  Run a 10k race.  Or two 5k’s.  5+5=10, right?

10.  Play in the snow – hopefully we have the kind of winter this year that will allow us to do this in our backyard, but if not, I’m happy to head east for a snowball fight.

11.  Make mulled wine, and invite some of the neighbors over to drink it.

12.  Take a ceramics class.

13.  Read something that will advance me in becoming a more critical thinker in the area of theology.  Bonhoeffer?  Chesterton?  Not my typical “fun” reads, but important to take on, nonetheless.

14.  Branch out musically and expand my iPod playlist.  I’ve had Ryan Adams and Sufjan Stevens on repeat for too long now.

15.  Check out a Seattle coffee shop I’ve never been to before.  It’s good to have my favorites, but I’m in a bit of a cafe rut.

16.  Learn how to hit a tennis ball so that it consistently goes over the net, but not out of bounds.  I’ve discovered that this is harder than it looks (particularly for an athletically challenged person such as myself).

17.  Make my own butternut squash soup.  This is one of my favorite fall foods.

18.  Get my architectural license.  Once again, not “small and simple”, but I’m already over halfway there (and so ready to be done!!!).

19.  Plant something pretty in the flower box outside our living room window.

20.  Have a get-dressed-up, get-out-of-the-house, all-about-us “date night” with Shane at least once a month.  This might just be for dessert or a cocktail (we don’t have to spend money on an extravagant meal), but I think it’s important to have these special “kinda fancy” evenings together.

21.  Spend a day on Whidby Island, checking out the local scene there.

22.  Develop a list of 15 simple meals that we both enjoy and figure out what kind of basic ingredients we can keep on hand in order to prepare these meals with minimal planning.

23.  Buy a great pair of leather boots that I could wear with jeans or a skirt, dressed up or casual.

24.  Add some color or decor to the walls of our bathroom.  That’s the one room in our house that has been “decoratively neglected”.

25.  Finish the two incomplete paintings that have been sitting on my easel forever.

26.  Write a letter and send pictures to Marcel, the boy in Rwanda that we are sponsoring through World Vision.

27.  Keep blogging.  So far, I’ve kept up with my commitment to averaging 2 posts a week.  Reflect on what I’m doing well and what I could be doing better.

It’s go time.