little black journal

We’ve stayed pretty close to home these last few months – I was telling La Verne last week that I can’t remember the last time we weren’t home for Juliette’s two naps and bedtime.  That means we haven’t left the house for more than 4-5 hours since…Christmas in Portland?  Is that possible?  We were due for a getaway.  So when my aunt told us she’d be visiting Portland from Baltimore for a few days, we took that as our cue to get out of town for the weekend and catch up with family.  We headed out on Friday morning, fingers crossed that Jules would take a solid nap on the road, spend the afternoon at Mitch’s charming the family with her babbling and smiles, and sleep like a rock during her first night in a hotel.  The best-laid plans…

The ride down went alright, save for the last thirty minutes, at which point Jules had decided she was done being in the car.  We tried singing songs, giving her snacks, stopping for a breather, cranking up the radio, turning down the radio, playing peek-a-boo, and praying, but ultimately just had to push through.  We made it to Edgefield for lunch, a little worse for the wear, but with sanity mostly in-tact.  And it was so good to see Grandma!

We spent the afternoon at Mitch’s house, laying low.  Jules woke up from her nap feeling a little warm.  Not good.  And then two gooey streams of snot shot out of her nose when she sneezed.  Really not good.  She came down with a cold last time Mitch and his family visited and spent much of the weekend fussing.  Could her timing really be this bad?  Hang with us, baby!  We gave her some ibuprofen and hoped for the best.  She perked up a little at dinner and seemed to enjoy hanging out with Morgan, who read her books and offered her toys and sang her six rounds of The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

The Jarrell Inn was full for the night, so we headed out after dinner to check into our room at a nearby hotel.  We did bathtime, pajamas, and Pack N Play setup in record time and had Jules tucked in just past her regular bedtime.  Whew!  Shane and I tucked ourselves into bed with the iPad to watch an episode of The Americans, tired but pretty satisfied with how well we’d fared for the day.  And then, at 8:30, Juliette started to fuss.  I opened the door to the living room (we were in a suite) and rubbed her back until she settled down, figuring she was probably confused by this strange crib in this strange room.  She quickly went back to sleep and I hopped back into bed.  Crisis averted!  And then, at 8:45, she really started wailing.  Not just a whimper, but an all out plea to Come get me, NOW!  I nursed her until she dropped back off to sleep, hoping we’d seen the last of each other for the night.  But she woke again at 9:15.  And 9:45.  And 10:00.  I could hear her cold getting worse, as she snorted through her stuffy nose.  I finally just pulled her into bed with us and tried propping her up with a pillow so she could breathe easier.  But she was squirmy.  And hot.  I took her sleep sack off.  I put it back on.  I laid her on my chest, Shane tried nuzzling her in the crook of his arm, I nursed her, Shane sang to her, but she just wouldn’t settle.  I pulled the Pack N Play next to our bed and put her in it, my arm draped awkwardly over the side of the bed so that I could rub her back while she drifted off to sleep.  Time was all a blur at this point, but I think this lasted about an hour, and then she somehow ended up back in the bed, and then she was back in the Pack N Play in the living room for a couple of hours while I hopped up every 20 minutes to soothe her.  Shane headed out at 6 am to pick up some baby Tylenol, and after we gave her a dose she slept for two whole hours.  I haven’t been so thrilled by two hours of sleep since she was four days old!

We were up and at ’em around 8:30, bleary-eyed and a little bit cranky.  This might be one of the most deceptive photos of all time – I pulled out the camera just to memorialize Juliette’s first night in a hotel, figuring I’d catch her fussing, but she flashed Shane a pretty great grin as I leaned over to snap a picture.  I’ll take it.  We’ll call it her We survived! smile.

In the morning so she looked so small in that king-sized bed.  In the middle of the night, she felt like a a 900-pound restless gorilla.

We went to Mitch and Kathryn’s for breakfast, thinking we’d ride the wave of Juliette’s morning dose of Tylenol until naptime, at which point we’d head home.  We ate and then walked over to the girls’ favorite park for swings and slides and basketball.  The fresh air did us all good.

Cousins! (That’s the neighbor girl on the right, honorary Jarrell for the day.)

Juliette seems to be getting more comfortable with being the center of attention!

The ride home was, well…

But we made it back to Seattle with only two stops and Juliette started to rebound that evening – she’s on the mend now, fever-free and sleeping much, much better.  Although the weekend didn’t quite live up to my idealized visions (they never do!), we’re still glad we made the trip, glad my Aunt Ruthie got to meet Juliette, if only for a few hours.  And maybe it’s good to regress every once in awhile, so that we can appreciate how far we’ve come in these last nine months.  Yeah, I’ll go with that…

Happy Father’s Day to the two most important guys in my life!

To Shane, who wows me time and again with the tender, silly, completely selfless way he loves our little girl.  Watching him welcome a kiss from her, even when her face is covered in drool; watching him read her the same books over and over and over, each time pretending that it’s a complete surprise that the very hungry caterpillar turns into a butterfly; watching him elicit sweet baby giggles as he jumps and dances and dramatically bonks his head with a cereal box or toy block…these are my greatest joys.  We pass this little playground every time we walk to the neighborhood bakery and Shane likes to take a spin with Jules around the basketball courts.  He gives her a good push and she’s off, probably wondering who the heck is in control of the stroller if papa is running alongside her and mama is laughing from the sidelines.  She’s mildly amused, but that goofy, excited grin on Shane’s face as she rolls right into his arms gets me every time.  He’s so good at play, so sweet in his funny little shenanigans.

And to my own dad, who’s a model of tender-loving fun.  I still remember how he’d come home from work in the evenings and “play the piano” on my belly while I laughed hysterically, I remember that day on Dean Drive that he gave me a push on my first real bike, that stylish pink and green Huffy.  I remember him cheering me on at swim meets and graduations, always wanting me to feel supported and valued and affirmed.

How did Juliette and I get so incredibly lucky?

The Jarrell clan made the trek from Portland to Seattle this weekend and we packed in some serious park-playing, baby-doting, and wine-drinking during their 24 hours here.  Fifteen minutes after they arrived, I was out the door with them to hit the playground at Jefferson Park so that the girls could burn off the energy they’d pent up during the three-hour car ride.  A few minutes on the swings, a dozen rounds on the zip line, and about 90 trips down the slide – these kids can go.

Jules (sort of) napped while we were at the park and was eager to meet her cousins when we got back.  Morgan’s motherly instincts kicked into overdrive right away and she couldn’t wait to get that baby in her lap.

Poor Juliette came down with a cold yesterday afternoon and was in a pretty sad funk through the rest of the day, so we stayed close to home, picking up takeout for dinner and cracking open a couple bottles of wine after all the kiddos were tucked into bed.  We lounged in our pajamas this morning, drinking coffee while the girls cozied up on the couch.

Shane stayed home with our sleepy baby this afternoon while the rest of us went downtown for lunch.  These girls!  I realized this weekend how much I’ve missed really being an aunt since I’ve taken on the role of mama.

Donuts from the market and a stop Target for sunglasses, and then it was time for the Jarrells to hit the road.  I felt especially blue saying good-bye this time around – this visit felt so short and Jules wasn’t the happy, giggling niece and cousin I’d hoped she’d be.  I’m still figuring out how to roll with the parenthood punches, I guess.  But I’m warmed by the memory of Morgan’s sweet rendition of The Itsy Bitsy Spider, by Elise’s boldness on the playground zip line, by the thought that there will be more visits, more chances for Jules to warm up to her extended family.  So come back soon, Jarrells, you hear?

Now that I’m back at work, I’m cherishing my weekends with renewed vigor, seizing any opportunity to get out with Juliette and Shane and enjoy the glimmering signs of spring.  A few highlights:

Last Sunday was gorgeous, so we headed out over to Seward Park in the evening to soak up the day’s final rays.  La Verne happened to be there with Nico and Jack walked over to join us – we spent a little while on the playground, perching our two bewildered kiddos on the teeter totter, and then grabbed a spot on the grass to stretch out and relax.

These kids!  Deep in conversation about….?  The Giants’ prospects this year?  Huggies vs. Pampers?  The crazy crew of parents snapping photos at their backs?

Since I’m only in the office Monday through Wednesday, my weekend gets off to a soft start on Thursday, though I’m still especially eager for Saturday when Shane will be around.  This past Thursday was gray and drizzly and Jules and I were both feeling a little funky after saying good-bye to my mom as she headed back to Oregon, but I rallied and we set out for Jefferson Park in the afternoon.  The playground was deserted, so I took advantage of the open equipment and gave Juliette her inaugural push in the bucket swing.  She dug it!  We’ll be hitting this park hard over the summer.

Friday was another rainy day – perfect weather for a cozy happy hour with the gang at the neighborhood pizza joint.  Gryffin’s smile makes me so happy.

We took a wet walk in the woods at Schmitz Park with the Rust clan yesterday.  We were all muddy-footed and soaked by the time we reached our cars, but the fresh air did us good (and helped pass that long stretch of time between morning and afternoon nap).

The clouds parted today and we drove over to Bellevue to walk the trails at Mercer Slough.  It was beautiful – moss-covered trees and promising little buds and a lovely feeling of quiet.

Spring!

Juliette sporting her latest signature accessories – spit bubbles on her chin and a drool-soaked sweatshirt.  Girl’s got style.

And…over and out.  Happy Sunday from the Schnells.

Ah, I love a visit from the grandparents!  Hearty home-cooked meals courtesy of my mom, good conversations around the dinner table, and extra hands to push the stroller or hold the baby on our daily outings.  We hit Seattle pretty hard last week, rain and shine.

We spent Monday afternoon downtown – my dad was a sport and hung out with Jules while my mom and I perused the offerings at Nordstrom Rack.

We enjoyed a sunbreak as we left the mall, but it was short-lived and we ended up ducking into the Crab Pot for fish and chips just as the rain started to fall.

Tuesday was beautifully, perfectly, un-gray and sunny, and Seattle shone in all its springtime glory.  We headed over to Green Lake for a long walk, rewarding ourselves afterward with ice cream at Molly Moon’s.

Juliette was laser-focused on my waffle cone, tossing aside the toys and plastic spoons I offered as distractions.  I refused to share my scoop of espresso ice cream, but she did sample my mom’s kumquat sorbet.  It’s just fruit, right?

And it was a hit.  Grandma forever sealed her spot in Juliette’s good graces with that one.

My dad headed back to Oregon on Wednesday, but not before one more quality chat with his favorite baby.  These two got along so splendidly – Juliette and I were both pretty sad to see him go.

My mom and I headed over to Alki on Wednesday afternoon for another vitamin D dose.  You can see Juliette fits right in with all those Seattle-ites that get giddy and silly when the sun comes out.

We spent Thursday afternoon down at Southcenter, scoring a couple of killer deals at the Loft while Juliette happily chomped on the fuzzy new lion grandma picked up for her at Target.  Turns out the three of us make a pretty good shopping trio.

I hung out with my mom’s group on Friday while my mom enjoyed the last of the week’s sunshine at Jefferson Park, and by Saturday Seattle’s spring drizzle had returned.  But no fear – the gray skies served as the perfect excuse to spend the morning at the bakery with a hot cup of coffee.  And Juliette’s good mood persisted, so I’ll hold off on complaining about the weather.

Ok, so here’s the thing – it rained ALL DAY today!  Not even the shortest, slightest break in it.  Jules and I were hoping to get out for a good walk, but it wasn’t in the cards for us.  So my mom and I left Juliette at home with Shane and drove over to Capitol Hill for oysters and wine, followed by a quick trip downtown to check out the big sale at Gap (must. stop. shopping!).

Tomorrow my mom will hang out with Juliette as I head back to the office – my maternity leave is officially OVER.

I don’t wanna talk about it.

Shane’s parents left yesterday after a week-long visit, and I must say, Miss Juliette is one lucky, well-loved little girl.  Yes, she greeted our visitors last Saturday with her signature lip-quiver (she’s in the thick of her “stranger danger” phase), but she warmed up to them within a day and spent part of the Superbowl contentedly nestled into Grandma’s lap.  It was pretty special to watch these three together, to hear Denny coo “Grandpa loves you” over and over, to see the joy on Pat’s face when her and Juliette locked eyes.  Obviously, Shane and I think our kid is the bee’s knees, but to be in the company of other people that think every little smile, every silly babble, even every spit-spraying sneeze is the sweetest thing ever?  Man, that feels good.  One of my greatest hopes for our daughter is that she’ll always feel treasured and beautiful and unique, and seeing her with Shane’s parents is like watching my wish come true.

Although much of the week was spent cozied up indoors, doting on the baby during her waking hours and waiting for her to get up during her sleeping hours, we did manage a few brief outings to our favorite Seattle spots:

A jaunt around Jefferson Park to soak in some of that freezing cold sunshine…

A walk along the waterfront, and then a seafood feast at the Crab Pot (crab legs and mussels and prawns, oh my!)…

Storytime at the Beacon Hill Library with dad, grandma, and that hilarious duck puppet…

Breakfast at Both Ways to grub on perfect buttermilk biscuits…

And a short stroll along Alki Beach yesterday, which had even the Minnesotans shivering in their boots!  We took refuge from the cold in a nearby Starbucks, and hot coffee has never tasted so good…

Shane took his parents to the airport last night for their red-eye flight, and I found myself crying a little while watching Denny and Pat give Juliette a round of tearful good-bye hugs.  Those Schnells sure are a generous, tender bunch.  Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for loving the heck out of our little girl.

I’m having a hard time believing that Christmas has come and gone – I’m resisting Shane’s request that we take down the tree and I still have the Charlie Brown Christmas album on repeat.  I’m so thankful for the time with family and friends, for the special holiday moments we shared with Juliette.

We headed down to Portland on Saturday, just in time to wish Morgan a happy third birthday.  This sweet girl was a little overwhelmed by all the attention lavished upon her – she bashfully smiled as we belted out “Happy Birthday”, not entirely sure what to make of the singing and the candles and the cameras.

But all sense of reserve was lost once she was told she could dig into her cupcake!  Was it really just three years ago that I was holding a newborn Morgan in my arms?  She’s such a strong-willed, fun-loving little person now.

Since my parents, Shane and I would be heading home on Christmas Eve, we opened gifts on Sunday morning.  Morgan and Elise excitedly tore into their pile of presents, while Juliette needed a little help from dad.  The sound of wrapping paper being torn was her favorite part of the whole ordeal – next year, I’m giving her a bunch of wrapped empty boxes!

Shane, on the other hand, understands the joy of a perfect gift – check out that whiskey grin!

The rest of Sunday was wonderfully low-key – we ate, we painted, we played Candyland, we napped, and as the day drew to a close, we cracked open Shane’s Christmas gift.

We set out for Alberta Street on Monday to show Jules one of our favorite Portland neighborhoods.  First stop: coffee at Barista!

Kathryn bought Mitch a ukelele from his favorite music store for Christmas, and Shane gave it a little test drive out on the sidewalk, serenading Juliette as she dozed in her stroller.

Shane, Kathryn, and I grabbed delicious Indian food from Bollywood Theatre for lunch.  Morgan and Elise were not so interested in samosas or dal or pork vindaloo, but they were quick to take us up on an offer of ice cream from Salt and Straw next door.

We capped off the day with a special pizza dinner to celebrate my mom and dad’s 43rd (!) wedding anniversary.  I loved being in a house full of family, crowding around the table at mealtimes, watching Morgan and Elise dote on their new cousin.  There were times when the hub-bub was loud and crazy and tiring (you can see below that it tuckered Jules out), but the hub-bub was also full of joy and great care for one another.  There was never any shortage of volunteers to hold the baby or clean up the kitchen or read a book to the kids.

My parents left early the next morning for La Pine, and Shane, Jules, and I strategically hit the road at morning naptime.  But first, the requisite photo of cousins on the couch:

Christmas day was quiet – we lounged around in our PJs, did some cooking, and opened our gifts from Shane’s family.  Jules can’t believe how well she made out:

It seems impossible that a year ago, this little girl was the size of a poppyseed, making a home for herself in my belly unbeknownst to Shane and I.  Best gift ever.

The Rust clan flew in from their week in Colorado on Christmas afternoon, so Shane, Juliette, and I headed over to their place that evening, bearing ham and mashed potatoes and apple pie.  It was a treat to share Christmas dinner with our Seattle family, to be back in the midst of hub-bub after such a mellow day at home.

And with that, a holly, jolly Christmas 2013 is in the books!

My mom left Wednesday after a week-long stay in Seattle, and man, I’m missin’ her already!  Yes, I will see her tomorrow when we head to Portland for Christmas, but still…I so enjoyed having her here, watching her love on her granddaughter.  And my word, it was nice to come downstairs in the morning to the smell of sizzling bacon and freshly brewed coffee!

It was a pretty quiet week – gone are the days of our several-hour shopping excursions to downtown or Southcenter, I guess. We spent a lot of time just hanging around the house, doting on Juliette and then popping in You’ve Got Mail and Little Women when she went down for her afternoon nap. My mom easily fell into our routines and rituals; she was coaxing big smiles out of the baby in no time and quickly learned what to do when those smiles went sour – I came home one afternoon after a quick run to the grocery store to find her doing laps around the kitchen with a zonked-out Jules in the stroller! I like that she saw the inner workings of our little family; she can fully sympathize now when I say that Juliette had a car seat meltdown, she knows how good it feels to lift her warm little body from the crib after a nap, she gets it when I say we had an extra cheery morning or a really tough time getting her to bed. And it was so affirming to hear her tell my grandma over the phone that I’m a good mom. Those are blessed words to hear from the woman that raised me.

My mom and I did venture out with the baby occasionally, for runs to West Elm and the neighborhood toy store to finish up our Christmas shopping, and we made multiple trips to Columbia City Bakery for Americano’s and coconut macaroons.  I like to think the three of us will be going on these coffee dates for years and years to come, even after Juliette has acquired her own taste for espresso.

Thanks so much for everything, Mom…  Jules and I appreciate every meal, every hug, every lap around the kitchen island. You may have come to help take care of the grandbaby, but you did some really good takin’ care of your daughter in the process.

On Saturday morning we loaded up our car with an ungodly amount of baby gear and headed south to Portland – Juliette’s first road trip!  Given her distaste for her car seat, we had our qualms about this little getaway; I considered calling Mitch late Friday night and telling him we simply weren’t ready to wreak that kind of havoc on our eardrums.  But I summoned my “adventurous” spirit and we pressed on with our plans, hitting the road right at naptime on Saturday and praying that Jules would fall asleep with little fuss.  And I’ll be danged, it actually worked.  She wailed for about 10 minutes around Tukwila (10 miles south of Seattle), but just as I started to cry along with her, longing to scoop her up into my arms and assure her we weren’t intentionally neglecting her, she conked out and hardly stirred the rest of the way to Portland – we made it to Mitch and Kathryn’s in record time, sanity still intact.

We spent most of the weekend just lazing around the house, enjoying Morgan and Elise as they enjoyed Juliette – it was a veritable cousin love-fest.  Morgan has adored her baby dolls for as long as I can remember, carrying them with her to bed and to the store and to the dining room table.  So you can imagine her enthusiasm over the chance to play with a real, live baby doll – she was immediately smitten with Juliette and had great fun tucking her in with her favorite blankie and her stuffed bunny, helping me with diaper changes and jammie time, tagging along when I went to get Juliette up from her naps.

Goodness, I can’t believe how much Morgan has changed in the four months since I’ve seen her.  Her hair is longer, her legs have lost that precious baby chub, and her will is stronger than ever.  She’s stubborn and sensitive and incredibly sweet (when she wants to be).

Elise also doted on Jules, with serenades on the guitar and cuddle sessions on the couch, but seeing as how she’s five, she’s very much into her big-girl stuff as well.  She started kindergarten this year and loves to play school; it turns out she is the strictest teacher on the planet, and Shane spent much of Saturday afternoon in time out for his refusal to properly follow directions.  She’s a chatterbox and a total riot – sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.  Mitch and I were discussing Christmas plans on Sunday when Elise announced that she wanted a “diarrhea”.  I raised my eyebrows at Mitch as he shrugged his shoulders and asked for clarification.

“What was that, Elise?”

“I want a diarrhea book.”

I bowed my head and stifled a giggle as Mitch delved deeper:  “You want a book about diarrhea?”

“Noooooo, Daddy, I want a diarrhea.  To write stuff in.  Karma has one.”

“Oh, you mean a diary?”

“Yeah, a diarrhea.”

By this point, I was breathless and red-faced with the effort of not laughing out loud.  Kids do say the darnedest things.

Shane and I sighed with relief and gratitude as we pulled back into our driveway on Monday afternoon – the weekend had been a smashing success.  Juliette traveled well, slept great, and soaked in some serious love from the Jarrell clan.  She’ll never have a big sister, but I suspect that these two will be pretty good surrogates.

Yesterday was the last day of Shane’s paternity leave – say it ain’t so!  I have loved having him home these last few weeks – not just because he takes the 6 am feeding shift, but because the three of us have such a good time hangin’ out together.  We made the most of his last week off, getting out (nearly) every day with Juliette for afternoon strolls at our favorite parks or lunch dates at our favorite restaurants.

A new walking trail just opened up in the greenbelt across the street from our house, so we headed out during a sunbreak last Tuesday to do some exploring.  It’s beautiful in there – thickly wooded and so quiet, save for the chirp of birds above or leaves crunching underfoot.

Despite gray skies and a forecast of rain, we drove over to Kubota Gardens on Wednesday, knowing it would be one of our last chances to take in the park’s fall colors.  We walked along the meandering paths, stopping every so often to snap a photo or give Juliette a close-up view of the bright red maples.  It sprinkled on us a bit, but we paid it no mind – we considered it Juliette’s crash course in Pacific Northwest living.

Shane’s mom arrived in Seattle on Friday morning, and after a quick snuggle session with her newest granddaughter, the four of us headed over to the 8 oz. Burger Bar for lunch, followed by a walk around Jefferson Park to burn off those truffled french fries.  Juliette snoozed through most of the outing – she wouldn’t open her eyes for a family photo, but somehow knew to wave to the camera!

We took advantage of Sunday’s sunshine for a walk along the water at Lincoln Park and then lunched at Geraldine’s Counter.  Again, Juliette snoozed…  Car seat crying was minimal this week, knock on wood!

We laid low the rest of the day on Sunday, hanging out at home and doting on this happy girl.  Juliette certainly sprouted her little devil horns from time to time this weekend, but for the most part, she was good to her grandma, cooing and smiling and wrapping yet another family member around her little finger.

Shane’s mom left for Minnesota yesterday morning, and Shane headed out the door promptly at 7:30 this morning to return to work. So it’s just me and Jules today, flyin’ solo…  Wish us luck!