little black journal

I’m having a hard time believing that Christmas has come and gone – I’m resisting Shane’s request that we take down the tree and I still have the Charlie Brown Christmas album on repeat.  I’m so thankful for the time with family and friends, for the special holiday moments we shared with Juliette.

We headed down to Portland on Saturday, just in time to wish Morgan a happy third birthday.  This sweet girl was a little overwhelmed by all the attention lavished upon her – she bashfully smiled as we belted out “Happy Birthday”, not entirely sure what to make of the singing and the candles and the cameras.

But all sense of reserve was lost once she was told she could dig into her cupcake!  Was it really just three years ago that I was holding a newborn Morgan in my arms?  She’s such a strong-willed, fun-loving little person now.

Since my parents, Shane and I would be heading home on Christmas Eve, we opened gifts on Sunday morning.  Morgan and Elise excitedly tore into their pile of presents, while Juliette needed a little help from dad.  The sound of wrapping paper being torn was her favorite part of the whole ordeal – next year, I’m giving her a bunch of wrapped empty boxes!

Shane, on the other hand, understands the joy of a perfect gift – check out that whiskey grin!

The rest of Sunday was wonderfully low-key – we ate, we painted, we played Candyland, we napped, and as the day drew to a close, we cracked open Shane’s Christmas gift.

We set out for Alberta Street on Monday to show Jules one of our favorite Portland neighborhoods.  First stop: coffee at Barista!

Kathryn bought Mitch a ukelele from his favorite music store for Christmas, and Shane gave it a little test drive out on the sidewalk, serenading Juliette as she dozed in her stroller.

Shane, Kathryn, and I grabbed delicious Indian food from Bollywood Theatre for lunch.  Morgan and Elise were not so interested in samosas or dal or pork vindaloo, but they were quick to take us up on an offer of ice cream from Salt and Straw next door.

We capped off the day with a special pizza dinner to celebrate my mom and dad’s 43rd (!) wedding anniversary.  I loved being in a house full of family, crowding around the table at mealtimes, watching Morgan and Elise dote on their new cousin.  There were times when the hub-bub was loud and crazy and tiring (you can see below that it tuckered Jules out), but the hub-bub was also full of joy and great care for one another.  There was never any shortage of volunteers to hold the baby or clean up the kitchen or read a book to the kids.

My parents left early the next morning for La Pine, and Shane, Jules, and I strategically hit the road at morning naptime.  But first, the requisite photo of cousins on the couch:

Christmas day was quiet – we lounged around in our PJs, did some cooking, and opened our gifts from Shane’s family.  Jules can’t believe how well she made out:

It seems impossible that a year ago, this little girl was the size of a poppyseed, making a home for herself in my belly unbeknownst to Shane and I.  Best gift ever.

The Rust clan flew in from their week in Colorado on Christmas afternoon, so Shane, Juliette, and I headed over to their place that evening, bearing ham and mashed potatoes and apple pie.  It was a treat to share Christmas dinner with our Seattle family, to be back in the midst of hub-bub after such a mellow day at home.

And with that, a holly, jolly Christmas 2013 is in the books!

My mom left Wednesday after a week-long stay in Seattle, and man, I’m missin’ her already!  Yes, I will see her tomorrow when we head to Portland for Christmas, but still…I so enjoyed having her here, watching her love on her granddaughter.  And my word, it was nice to come downstairs in the morning to the smell of sizzling bacon and freshly brewed coffee!

It was a pretty quiet week – gone are the days of our several-hour shopping excursions to downtown or Southcenter, I guess. We spent a lot of time just hanging around the house, doting on Juliette and then popping in You’ve Got Mail and Little Women when she went down for her afternoon nap. My mom easily fell into our routines and rituals; she was coaxing big smiles out of the baby in no time and quickly learned what to do when those smiles went sour – I came home one afternoon after a quick run to the grocery store to find her doing laps around the kitchen with a zonked-out Jules in the stroller! I like that she saw the inner workings of our little family; she can fully sympathize now when I say that Juliette had a car seat meltdown, she knows how good it feels to lift her warm little body from the crib after a nap, she gets it when I say we had an extra cheery morning or a really tough time getting her to bed. And it was so affirming to hear her tell my grandma over the phone that I’m a good mom. Those are blessed words to hear from the woman that raised me.

My mom and I did venture out with the baby occasionally, for runs to West Elm and the neighborhood toy store to finish up our Christmas shopping, and we made multiple trips to Columbia City Bakery for Americano’s and coconut macaroons.  I like to think the three of us will be going on these coffee dates for years and years to come, even after Juliette has acquired her own taste for espresso.

Thanks so much for everything, Mom…  Jules and I appreciate every meal, every hug, every lap around the kitchen island. You may have come to help take care of the grandbaby, but you did some really good takin’ care of your daughter in the process.

On Saturday morning we loaded up our car with an ungodly amount of baby gear and headed south to Portland – Juliette’s first road trip!  Given her distaste for her car seat, we had our qualms about this little getaway; I considered calling Mitch late Friday night and telling him we simply weren’t ready to wreak that kind of havoc on our eardrums.  But I summoned my “adventurous” spirit and we pressed on with our plans, hitting the road right at naptime on Saturday and praying that Jules would fall asleep with little fuss.  And I’ll be danged, it actually worked.  She wailed for about 10 minutes around Tukwila (10 miles south of Seattle), but just as I started to cry along with her, longing to scoop her up into my arms and assure her we weren’t intentionally neglecting her, she conked out and hardly stirred the rest of the way to Portland – we made it to Mitch and Kathryn’s in record time, sanity still intact.

We spent most of the weekend just lazing around the house, enjoying Morgan and Elise as they enjoyed Juliette – it was a veritable cousin love-fest.  Morgan has adored her baby dolls for as long as I can remember, carrying them with her to bed and to the store and to the dining room table.  So you can imagine her enthusiasm over the chance to play with a real, live baby doll – she was immediately smitten with Juliette and had great fun tucking her in with her favorite blankie and her stuffed bunny, helping me with diaper changes and jammie time, tagging along when I went to get Juliette up from her naps.

Goodness, I can’t believe how much Morgan has changed in the four months since I’ve seen her.  Her hair is longer, her legs have lost that precious baby chub, and her will is stronger than ever.  She’s stubborn and sensitive and incredibly sweet (when she wants to be).

Elise also doted on Jules, with serenades on the guitar and cuddle sessions on the couch, but seeing as how she’s five, she’s very much into her big-girl stuff as well.  She started kindergarten this year and loves to play school; it turns out she is the strictest teacher on the planet, and Shane spent much of Saturday afternoon in time out for his refusal to properly follow directions.  She’s a chatterbox and a total riot – sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.  Mitch and I were discussing Christmas plans on Sunday when Elise announced that she wanted a “diarrhea”.  I raised my eyebrows at Mitch as he shrugged his shoulders and asked for clarification.

“What was that, Elise?”

“I want a diarrhea book.”

I bowed my head and stifled a giggle as Mitch delved deeper:  “You want a book about diarrhea?”

“Noooooo, Daddy, I want a diarrhea.  To write stuff in.  Karma has one.”

“Oh, you mean a diary?”

“Yeah, a diarrhea.”

By this point, I was breathless and red-faced with the effort of not laughing out loud.  Kids do say the darnedest things.

Shane and I sighed with relief and gratitude as we pulled back into our driveway on Monday afternoon – the weekend had been a smashing success.  Juliette traveled well, slept great, and soaked in some serious love from the Jarrell clan.  She’ll never have a big sister, but I suspect that these two will be pretty good surrogates.

Yesterday was the last day of Shane’s paternity leave – say it ain’t so!  I have loved having him home these last few weeks – not just because he takes the 6 am feeding shift, but because the three of us have such a good time hangin’ out together.  We made the most of his last week off, getting out (nearly) every day with Juliette for afternoon strolls at our favorite parks or lunch dates at our favorite restaurants.

A new walking trail just opened up in the greenbelt across the street from our house, so we headed out during a sunbreak last Tuesday to do some exploring.  It’s beautiful in there – thickly wooded and so quiet, save for the chirp of birds above or leaves crunching underfoot.

Despite gray skies and a forecast of rain, we drove over to Kubota Gardens on Wednesday, knowing it would be one of our last chances to take in the park’s fall colors.  We walked along the meandering paths, stopping every so often to snap a photo or give Juliette a close-up view of the bright red maples.  It sprinkled on us a bit, but we paid it no mind – we considered it Juliette’s crash course in Pacific Northwest living.

Shane’s mom arrived in Seattle on Friday morning, and after a quick snuggle session with her newest granddaughter, the four of us headed over to the 8 oz. Burger Bar for lunch, followed by a walk around Jefferson Park to burn off those truffled french fries.  Juliette snoozed through most of the outing – she wouldn’t open her eyes for a family photo, but somehow knew to wave to the camera!

We took advantage of Sunday’s sunshine for a walk along the water at Lincoln Park and then lunched at Geraldine’s Counter.  Again, Juliette snoozed…  Car seat crying was minimal this week, knock on wood!

We laid low the rest of the day on Sunday, hanging out at home and doting on this happy girl.  Juliette certainly sprouted her little devil horns from time to time this weekend, but for the most part, she was good to her grandma, cooing and smiling and wrapping yet another family member around her little finger.

Shane’s mom left for Minnesota yesterday morning, and Shane headed out the door promptly at 7:30 this morning to return to work. So it’s just me and Jules today, flyin’ solo…  Wish us luck!

I saw one of our church’s pastors yesterday, and as she gave me a congratulatory hug, she asked if Shane and I are thriving or surviving in this early phase of parenthood.  No doubt, we felt like we were in survival-mode those first couple weeks, doing whatever we could to maximize sleep and minimize tears, for Jules and for us.  But the tides seem to have turned this week, as we’ve enjoyed several days of thriving as an active, (relatively) well-rested family.

It helped that my parents were here to lend a hand with all things house and baby.  Delicious home-cooked meals every night, a spic-and-span kitchen, and obliging backup every time Juliette needed changing or soothing – Shane and I were livin’ large during their visit.  And it was such a blessing to watch grandma and grandpa fall in love with their granddaughter, to listen to my dad sing his off-key nursery rhymes while he bounced her on the exercise ball, to watch my mom’s face light up when I put Juliette in her arms each morning.

My dad headed back to Oregon last Sunday, but my mom stayed on to help out while Shane returned to work for a week.  We ventured out each day to run a couple of errands or enjoy a little fresh air, patting ourselves on the back during those meltdown-free outings and taking turns with any jiggling or shushing on those one or two occasions when Juliette fell to pieces.  I’m training my daughter early in the fine art of cafe dwelling – she dozed through our coffee dates at the Columbia City Bakery and the Essential Baking Company, soothed by the whoosh of the milk steamer.

My mom left this morning and I shed a few tears as we said our good-byes.  We grew closer these past few days, as we now share this common ground of motherhood and this common love for Juliette.  Plus, I’m really, really going to miss her cooking.

And now it’s on Shane and I to keep this boat afloat.  Thankfully, we seem to be on our way to finding a rhythm.  We’ve made great progress in the sleep department lately – our first couple of nights at home with the baby, we were taking turns sleeping with her on the couch in one-hour shifts, as she fussed each time we put her down.  We quickly became zombies under this routine, so we moved her into our bed, but stopped swaddling her, as we thought she was waking herself up as she tried to fight her way out of the blanket.  A week ago, we brought back the swaddle with more success, and on Wednesday, despite my skepticism, Shane moved her into the previously unpopular pack ‘n play next to our bed. And dang it all, I guess father knows best, because that girl logged five straight hours of Z’s that night, went right back down after I fed her, and then snoozed until 7 am!  Despite the unsettling dreams I had that night that someone had kidnapped our baby (I suppose my subconscious was trying to make sense of this long stretch of silence), I felt fabulous on Thursday morning.  We have yet to recreate that blissful five-hour stretch, but she’s been sleeping in three-hour chunks since then, and getting up around 1 am and 5 am feels doable for now.

We’ve heard that newborn sleeping and eating patterns can turn on a dime, so we’re far from believing that we have it all figured out – I suspect I haven’t experienced my last new-mama breakdown.  But for now, we’re soaking in the sweetness of this sleepy little face.

It’s been a grand couple of days – heaping loads of sunshine, quality time with friends and family, a Sunday full of rest.  Glorious.

Mitch and Kathryn rolled into town with the girls on Friday afternoon.  We spent the evening on the back porch, the guys toasting to the weekend with beer and fresh oysters, the girls with bowls of ice cream.

 

We kicked off Saturday with a bakery run, and then made our way to Jefferson Park for a playground fix.  Morgan’s face absolutely lights up when she sees a swingset – she could spend all day in one of these things.  And apparently Uncle Shane loves his swing-time as well…

   

At 11 am, the water fountains came alive and the girls squealed with laughter as they raced through the spray.  Talk about unbridled summer joy.

   

We spent Saturday afternoon with friends and family at Lincoln Park, celebrating baby Schnell’s upcoming arrival.  It was all we’d hoped our baby shower would be – lots of laughter, blessings for our little one, and dinner hot off the grill, set against the backdrop of a gorgeous Seattle summer day.

(photos by Jason and La Verne)

We were spoiled with an abundance of gifts, from snot-suckers to beautiful blankets, but our favorite present by far was this personalized piece of artwork, brainstormed by Nance.  The leaves on this tree are made up of the thumbprints of the people at the shower – it will hang in baby Schnell’s room as a reminder that he or she has a huge family of people that already love him or her, people that have walked alongside us in our journey to become parents and will continue to walk with us as we cross over from waiting to raising.  I asked Shane on the car ride home last night how we managed to get so lucky, to be surrounded by people that are so full of generosity, of genuine kindness, of a willingness to cry hard with us when we need a shoulder and to laugh even harder with us when we need to let loose.  And to think that our baby will enter the world with all of these incredible people at his or her side – there may have been a happy tear or two falling behind those sunglasses of mine.

We made it home in time for baths, books, and a quick snuggle on the back porch before bed-time.  Ahhh, Morgan – kill me with your sweetness, why don’t you?

We said good-bye to Mitch and his family this morning, after one last run to the neighborhood playground for a go at the swings and slides.  As usual, I’m already missing those Jarrell girls like crazy.  It was fun to have them in our house for a couple of days, to see them first thing in the morning, to nap with Morgan in the afternoon, to get out and enjoy our neighborhood parks in a whole new way.

The flip side to all that fun was that it left me totally tuckered out, so I Sabbathed well today: naps, baseball, reading, Thai take-out for dinner.  I found myself wondering what life will be like when we have kiddos in our house that don’t leave on Sunday mornings.  But then I rolled over on the couch and went back to sleep.  We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Sighing a little letdown sigh tonight, as we said good-bye to my mom and dad this morning after a glorious summer weekend together.  Lots of home-cooked meals shared at the dining room table, lots of baseball games watched as we lounged on the couch, and oh, that sunshine on Saturday!

I’ve been plowing through berries and watermelon and mangos by the bowlful lately, so I suggested we head out to do some strawberry picking on Saturday morning.  We grabbed our crates at Remlinger Farms in Carnation and got right to work, plucking red, juicy berries by the handful.  It was a bit harder than I anticipated, squatting between the rows with my achy knees and big belly, but we pushed onward and walked away with 14 pounds of loot after an hour’s work.  Not too shabby.

We dined on deluxe burgers at 8 Oz Burger Bar for lunch, then made a run to West Elm to pick up the glider for the nursery.  Shane and my dad worked on getting the chair moved in and assembling our just-arrived crib while my mom and I sunned ourselves on the back porch – again, not too shabby!

The evening’s wispy clouds held major stellar-sunset potential, so we drove over to Lincoln Park after dinner to walk along the water and watch the sky go from blue to gold to pink.  These are the moments when the Pacific Northwest is at its absolute finest.

The tides turned on Sunday as the rain started to fall, but that didn’t get me down – it was a perfect day for Thai curry, for afternoon dozing, and for a little mall madness with my mom.  I stashed a few pounds of berries in the freezer and took my first stab at jam-making (success!), worked on the nursery a little, and called it a day after the Mad Men series finale.  It had been a very full weekend, in a very good way.

Mom and Dad hit the road back to Oregon this morning and we’re already missing their company – dinner tonight was decidedly less hearty (scrambled eggs and toast vs. pork chops and veggies…) and conversation at the table was a bit less lively.  But I’m so looking forward to seeing Grandma and Grandpa come September…

We made a quick trip to Portland this weekend for a family fix – 24 hours to catch up with Mitch and Kathryn and love on those sweet nieces of ours. We ate ice cream cones at Ruby Jewel’s, we cheered on Elise at soccer practice, we hit the Kenton Street Fair, complete with bratwursts and puppet shows and face-painting.  We read books and painted and wrapped baby dolls in little purple blankets.  Never a dull moment.

Elise is FIVE and all big-girl now.  She is extremely inquisitive and will keep you on your toes with her myriad of questions: “Which way are we driving?”; “North?  Can you drive to the North Pole?”; “Why is that man on the street corner holding a sign?”; “If he doesn’t have a house, where does he sleep?”  Mitch and Kathryn are so good at constantly staying engaged with her – every question of Elise’s gets a thoughtful answer, even if it’s at the end of a string of 27 other “Why’s”.  She still loves super-heros and anything pink; on the flip side, spinach is disgusting and hair-brushing is absolute torture.

And Morgan…she’s still quite the heart-melter.  She is chatty like her sister – it just takes a little more effort to decipher what she’s talking about.  “Hay” is her name for Shane, “Hide you!” is her version of “Found you!” in a game of hide and seek, “No ah-eh” is her proud declaration of “No accidents” after a successful day without diapers.  She can be cranky (she is two, after all), but she can also laugh like her joy knows no bounds.  A simple game of peek-a-boo, and she’ll be rolling on the floor, squealing with unbridled delight.  She is always on the go – running from one room to the other, climbing on furniture, gently pushing Uncle Shane into the closet for another round of hide-and-seek.  She took a little tumble off the playground slide today, and while I felt bad for her scraped-up palms, those few minutes when she quietly nuzzled into my chest and let me wipe her tears were precious.

Love you, girlies.  So so soooo much.

Spring has sprung in Seattle! The sun is shining, flowers are bursting with new blooms of color, and I have optimistically tucked my winter coat into the deep recesses of my closet. My mom and dad spent the past few days with us, soaking in Seattle’s springtime glory. Glory, glory, glory, indeed – it was a great weekend.

We joined the hoards of other sun-struck Northwesterners at UW on Saturday to take in the view of the cherry blossom-lined Quad. The trees were perfectly pink and fluffy, set against a crystal clear sky.  No, the sun doesn’t shine here quite as often as we’d like, but when it does, we do a pretty good job of making the most of it – there was this contagious buzz of joy in the air that morning.  I never knew how good Vitamin D was for the soul until I moved to Seattle!  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess.

And a bonus!  We ran into Jack and La V, who were also on a mission to embrace the Springtime spirit.

After stopping at the U-District Farmer’s Market for a few essentials like tamales, bacon, and goat cheese (apparently it’s not peak produce season yet!), we headed over the Olympic Sculpture Park to check out the view of the mountains.

After dropping off the guys at home, my mom and I spent the afternoon shopping till we dropped.  We hit Southcenter hard that day and scored a few good deals – I was in need of some clothing of the more…er…”elastic” variety, and it was fun to share this next step in the pregnancy process with my mom.  Shane threw some Italian sausages on the grill for dinner that night, and we passed the rest of the evening resting our tired feet at home with ice cream and a movie.  It had been a full day.

We spent Sunday morning at church, celebrating His rising with music and reflection and prayer, and then headed over to Jason and Nancy’s for an Easter meal with the gang.  We watched the kids hunt for eggs, we ate, we laughed, and we reveled in the goodness of an overly generous God.  I felt so lucky to be sharing the day with my “family family”  and my “Seattle family”.

The rest of the day was devoted to relaxing – naps, basketball, a leisurely walk by the water at Seward Park.  I can’t imagine a more perfect Easter weekend – hopefully I can ride this high right through the rain that’s supposed to start falling later this week…

We’re back from a quick trip to Portland to spend some time with my brother and his family – 24 hours is never enough time to fully love on my nieces, but the cuddles and the games and the Sunday playground time still do a world of good for my soul.  Oh, those girls…

Morgan is asserting her independence more and more, wanting to pour her own milk and zip her own coat and put on her own diaper (all of which eventually necessitate adult intervention, but she’s trying).  She adores Elmo with every fiber of her being and her cuteness will bust your heart open when she dances to the sound of her dad strumming his guitar.  The girl’s got moves.  Thankfully, she’s still got plenty of that sweet little baby-ness left in her, too – she crawled into my lap with her blankey this morning and let me rock her for awhile while she nuzzled into my chest. I soaked in every last second of it, knowing these days of quiet, precious snuggles are numbered.

Elise is all big girl these days.  She’s on a superhero kick lately – she and Uncle Shane spent much of the weekend playing Batman and Robin.  And gosh, she’s smart – she gave me a run for my money during our big memory game tournament yesterday afternoon.  She flies like the wind on her green Glider bike and wants a ukelele for her birthday next month (actually, she wants a purple Tinkerbell guitar, but my brother, the musician, has decided that a nice ukelele is much more dignified).  She’s a little mischievous, and a lot stubborn, but what four-year old isn’t?

So long, kiddos.  Auntie Kelly loves you mucho and misses you already.