little black journal

I remember having a “preach it, sister” moment when Nance shared in c-group a few weeks ago about how hard it can be to hold sorrow and joy in tension, not letting one disallow the other.  This has been particularly difficult for me this holiday season - our unrealized baby hopes have squashed my spirit, leaving me frustrated and broken at a time of year usually marked with thankfulness and cheer.  I’ve had a hard time finding the good in the midst so much sadness.  But I resolved last week to turn it around – to hit pause on my wallowing and enjoy a weekend full of Christmas parties and gift-wrapping and soaking in God’s abundant blessings.  I had my Christmas playlist all queued up, my little black dress picked out for the office holiday party, our cupboards stocked with the ingredients for pumpkin bread and my favorite biscotti.

And then Friday morning happened.  I was out shopping at lunchtime when a friend’s Facebook update popped up on my phone – I saw the words “tragedy” and “children” and pulled up the NY Times to check the latest headlines.  Tragedy didn’t even begin to describe it.  I stood there for a minute on the sidewalk, stunned and suddenly feeling very alone among the crowds that were rushing in and out of stores, chatting and smiling and going about life as usual.  I headed back to my office and nearly came unglued as I read the latest breaking details.  27 people dead.  20 of them precious little children.  Moms, dads, brothers, sisters, teachers facing the loss of so much innocent life.  God, where were you?  It’s hard to find His light in the midst of such suffocating darkness.  It’s easy to feel forsaken and lost.  But I can’t, I won’t forget His promise.  I won’t forget the baby that came so long ago to redeem the world, to defeat death and pay for our sins with His suffering and sacrifice.

It still seems awfully dark out there, but as I stumble and search and cry out to Him, a light flickers as He reveals His ultimate goodness.  I see Him in the stories of the courageous and selfless teachers that loved and protected their students.  I see Him in the candles that were lit across the nation as people stood in solidarity with Newtown.  I see Him so vividly in our community of friends, our “Seattle family”.  He was there when we gathered on Saturday night for our sixth annual fondue party, where we ate and laughed and danced and experienced the joy of belonging.  God is indeed good.  Yes, there will be reasons to weep and mourn and question His ultimate plan, but there will also be reasons to dance.  And I think I’m finally seeing those reasons through the blur of my tears.

The rest of our weekend was full of all kinds of goodies, like a Saturday morning spent doing the crossword and eating bagels at Eltana…

And our 5th annual dumpling-making pumpkin-carving party at Chez Hickory.  There’s nothing more Fall-feeling than being up to your elbows in pumpkin guts!

And on Sunday, an epic birthday party for Shane, La Verne, and I, courtesy of Jack Chen’s generous brilliance.  When Jack said he had a really good idea for our joint party (a.k.a. “Schnell-La-Palooza”), my stomach growled and my mouth started watering – I knew we were in for a treat.  And my word, he went BIG.  The four of us have been wolfing down the crazy-good Malaysian fare at Kedai Makan’s farmer’s market food stands all summer, and we were thrilled to find out that Kevin and Alysson themselves would be setting up shop in the Chen’s kitchen for the evening, preparing us a birthday meal to top all birthday meals.  We gathered with 30 of our closest friends and feasted on stewed lamb and fish curry and delicious little shrimp-topped crackers.  The combination of a killer meal, another Giants win, and the company of so many people that we love so much made for an evening of total perfection.  Gracias, Jack.  You rock.

The birthday peeps with the Kedai Makan folks – I think we have officially been elevated to “food groupie” status…

And then, just as I was about to fall into the depths of post-weekend letdown, we watched the Giants clinch their spot in the World Series tonight. Way to turn my Monday frown upside down, boys!  Have I mentioned how much I love October?

Jack and La Verne are known to be pros when it comes to sampling Vancouver’s finest fare, so Shane and I were pretty excited when the four of us finally got a date on the calendar to trek up north together. We buckled ourselves into the Chens’ trusty Prius on Saturday morning, made a quick stop at Honore in Ballard for croissants and coffee, and we were Canada-bound!

The next 36 hours were a blur of eating and drinking and eating and…more eating. My word, if I had a nickel for every time I rubbed my belly this weekend and moaned about how full I was, I’d have enough money to buy that bottle of Johnny Walker Blue that Shane was eyeing at the duty-free shop!  We kicked things off with dim sum in Richmond, plowing our way through a table laden with shrimp dumplings and tofu rolls and little football-shaped fried pockets of meat. It was culinary gluttony at its finest.

We left Richmond with stuffed-full bellies, determined to do something active and build those appetites back up for our dinner resos at 6.  The sun was shining and we were feeling adventurous, so we settled on a bike ride around Stanley Park – tandem-style!  Shane and I had never braved a two-person bike before, and I was wary of our communication skills being pushed to the limit, but we fell into sync pretty easily and made our way around the park with only minor wobbles.

Next stop: dinner at La Quercia.  Ham, fish, pasta, wine, oooooh la la.  It was a meal, made perfect by the company of good friends.  We capped the day off with carefully crafted cocktails at Pourhouse – if only I had a picture of Shane’s gigantic grin as that first Old Fashioned was placed in front of him, and Jack’s furrowed eyebrows as he pondered whether or not his drink had been made with the appropriate proportion of Fernet.  Oh, those boys and their liquor…

We were up impressively early on Sunday (especially considering the gluttony that took place the night before) and started our day with a jog along the waterfront as penance for Saturday’s carb-fest.  Post-run, we grabbed coffee in Yaletown, checked out the neighborhood a bit, and found that our stomachs were sufficiently primed for another day of eating ourselves silly.  First on the list: soup dumplings at Long’s Noodle House.  These delicate, juicy little pockets of meat and broth kind of blew my mind – so, so, so good.

We spent the afternoon hitting the shops on Robson (Zara!), and though none of us were particularly hungry, we couldn’t leave without a stop at Motomachi for ramen.  Hot damn, those noodles make me happy.

We had all heard good things about the Van Dusen botanical gardens and decided to hit them up on our way out of town.  The swoopy new visitor’s center is striking and the were gardens full of the last bits of summer color. We spent a couple of hours wandering down the meandering paths, checking out the luxury car show on the central lawn (yeah, random…), and “racing” through the shrubbed maze.

Our final destination on Canadian soil was the Richmond night market – music and lights and stall upon stall of Asian street food.  The Chinese hamburger and the fried octopus were good, but the Taiwanese shaved ice was the definite winner and the perfect way to end a flavor-filled couple of days.  Milky ice, mochi, jellies, red beans, and a scoop of ice cream – totally worth standing in the evening rain!

And with that, it was time to bid farewell to Canada and point the car toward Seattle.  We crossed that border full, happy, and a little more in love with our neighbor to the north.

Happy Labor Day, folks!  Happy, indeed – it’s been a pretty glorious long weekend.  Things were slow for me at work last week, so I took advantage of my open schedule and took Friday off to jump-start the holiday.  It was the “me-day” to top all me-days – coffee at Cafe Fiore, a massage to work those blues out of my shoulders, tacos at Oaxaca (and a whole side of chips and guac all to myself!), a little shopping and crafting in the afternoon, and then a perfectly chill movie night at home with Shane.  It was, in a word, grand (but don’t bother renting Friends with Kids – completely awful).

On Saturday I was tasked just with one vitally important mission:  Shane and Jack were making their annual Red Hook Ride out to the Woodinville Brewery (joined by Jordan and Bees – welcome to the club!) and needed La Verne and I to meet them out there with our cars around lunchtime (apparently, this is not a round-trip kind of bike ride).  We scored a sunny table on the patio and the bikers restocked those burned calories with monster burgers and pitchers of beer.  La Verne and I joined in the beef-fest, and we all stumbled out of there a little heavier than when we’d gone in.

We met up with the gang for drinks at The Bottle House that evening and marveled at the fact that we were just discovering this little gem of a bar in nearby Madrona.  Their patio is amazing – like something right out of a romantic movie with it’s twinkly lights and vine-covered railings.  It was the perfect place to toast to the last glimmerings of summer.

Sunday was mellow – church, our ritual lunch at Kedai Makan, and then a couple of hours spent laying on a blanket in Jefferson Park, dozing and reading and watching the kids at the nearby birthday party beat the heck out of a fire engine pinata.  I could have laid there until the sun went down, if not for the lure of dinner hot off Jack and La V’s grill (and the season 5 Breaking Bad finale!).

Today started quietly, with an easy jog at the lake and a couple of hours at Mioposto with a latte and my dusty old sketchbook.

I hated to waste the last of our Labor Day sunshine and started feeling antsy this afternoon.  Just as I was telling Shane that we needed to get out and do something to end the weekend with a bang, he got a phone call from Jack.  “Dude – we’re renting a boat today.  Want to go for a ride?”  Heck yes, we want to go for a ride!  We made our way to a little dock in Kirkland and were promptly picked up by the Chens in their super-posh power-boat.  The Rust clan was along for the ride, and we had a blast cruising around Lake Washington, sun skimming our shoulders and hair blowing in the wind.

And with that, this long, perfect weekend is over.  Tomorrow I report for my first-ever summons to jury duty – how’s that for reality slappin’ you in the face?

My weekend really kicked off on Thursday, with the arrival of my parents and my Aunt Ruthie, up for a quick visit to Seattle.  After a little at-home happy hour action, we all headed for a walk around Seward Park and dinner at Geraldine’s.  I hadn’t seen Aunt Ruthie for a couple of years, so it was good to catch up with her on all the latest happenings with my East Coast family.  I went into the office on Friday, but slipped out at lunchtime for mimosas and chowder at the Market with my mom and aunt, and then left a little early so that we could crack open that bottle of white wine while the afternoon sun was still grazing our back patio.  We grilled burgers and watched baseball and sat around the table telling stories from way back when.  As I get older, I’ve come to appreciate that my story doesn’t start with my earliest childhood memories.  My story is wrapped up in my parents’ first years of marriage, in the opossum-shootin’ shenanigans my dad got into as a kid at his grandparents’ farm, in the letters Nannie and Grandaddy wrote to each other when they were just young kids in love.  I’m just one little leaf on a family tree full of love and laughter and devotion.

Oh, and speaking of “way back when”, how incredibly awesome is the picture my aunt brought for us of the Jarrell clan, circa 1979?  Holy retro, Batman!

My aunt left for Baltimore on Saturday morning and my parents headed down to Portland, so the rest of the day was devoted to…a whole lot of nothin’.  No house projects, no errands, no baseball, just an afternoon full of completely blissful quiet on the back patio with a good book and a bowl of cherries (followed by a perfect afternoon snooze).  Putting away my to-do list felt so, so good – I think I needed the break.  We ended the day with one (last?!) backyard summer bbq at Brian and Nicole’s.  Sausages hot off the grill, piled with all kinds of toppings?  I needed that, too…

Sunday was full of more relaxing, a killer lunch at our favorite Malaysian food cart, another nap (or two – ?!), and dinner/catch-up at Chez Rust.  Stick a fork in this weekend – it is done.  Wellllll done…

Summer wouldn’t be complete without our annual c-group camping trip, so we all loaded up our cars and headed east on Friday for a couple of days at Tolt Macdonald Park in Carnation.  After dinner at the local pub (we really know how to rough it), we set up camp and settled in for a weekend of eating, laughing, and soaking the great outdoors.

We awoke to a misty morning on Saturday and toasted bagels over the fire as our sleepy campers emerged from their tents one by one.

The fog quickly burned off into 90-degree temperatures, and the rest of the day was a blur of heating up and cooling down.  We invented our own version of the Olympic decathlon, complete with whiffle ball, kickball, frisbee, sun-tanning, swimming, whitewater body-surfing (a personal favorite!), mountain biking, balance beam freestyle (dang, Nance!), hammock-hanging, and s’mores-stacking.  Whew!

It was a pretty grand day, capped off with dinner hot off the grill (a la Jack, of course), cold beverages, and fireside laughter.

We broke down camp this morning and made the short trip back to Seattle as the sun reappeared and threatened to melt us Californians-gone-soft.  Shane and I indulged in a good afternoon snooze, walked to the park to watch the Blue Angels fly overhead for Seafair, and spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch for Olympics-fest Day 10 (interrupted only by an evening ice cream run to Full Tilt).  Have I mentioned how much I adore summertime weekends in the Pacific Northwest?

When Nancy emailed Shane and I last week to see if we’d be in for a little surprise camping action for Jason’s birthday, we cleared our calendars and dug our tent out of the recesses of our closet. We set sail for Illahee State Park via the Bremerton ferry on Friday afternoon, loving the sense of “getaway” that comes with watching the Seattle skyline recede in the distance.

An hour and a half later we pulled up to our perfect campsite, nestled among the trees and just minutes away from the water. We set up our tent and inflated our air mattress in record time – Shane was eager to try out the extra mountain bike Jordan had brought along.

We ate our dinner around the campfire that night and stayed up talking and roasting marshmallows – until the rain began to fall in huge, splashing drops. We rushed around like madmen cleaning up camp and then took refuge in our tents, enjoying the nighttime storm from the warmth of our sleeping bags.

Saturday was devoted to a whole bunch of perfect nothin’. Jack and La V joined us late in the morning and we all headed down to the water to check out the beach.

While the ladies spent much of the day basking in the sun, the boys played hard. Frisbee, volleyball, mountain biking, whew!

There was also hammock-lounging, delicious oysters hot off the grill, and an evening swim for our uber-active fellas.

(Who said the Prius is only a 5-seater? Pshhh.)

We spent another evening sitting around the campfire, eating Indian food and grilled crab while the birthday boy waxed poetic about the ups and downs of his 31st year.

The fixin’s were brought out for s’mores round 2, Shane’s bottle of whiskey emerged and made its way around the circle, and the fireside chatter kept up late into the night. I’m constantly wondering with these people where conversation will take us next – there was heated debate over whether or not animals have feelings, there was the ridiculous attempt to decipher the lyrics to Alan Jackson’s Chatahoochee, and there were equal shares of reminiscing and looking forward.

We got a (kind of) early start this morning, toasted our Aussie Bites over the fire, then broke down camp and hit the road. Although I was jonesin’ for a hot shower and the comfort of our bed, I was more than a little sad to say good-bye to our little wooded retreat.

Cheers, J! Wishing you a year filled of laughter, frisbee golf, and plenty more surprise adventures…

I initially grumbled a bit about the 4th of July falling on a Wednesday this year, wishing instead that we could have rolled the holiday into a three-day weekend, but this mid-week mini-break actually turned out to be kind of awesome.  We slept in, rolled out of bed to watch some baseball (dang it, Giants!), rolled back into bed for a pre-lunch nap, and then finally rustled up the energy to leave the house and head over to Alki for fish and chips and a walk along the beach.  Seattle-ites often complain about our rainy June weather and then offer consolation to one another with the promise that summer doesn’t truly begin here until the 4^th of July – indeed, the sunshine came through in a clutch yesterday and made our city sparkle.

We hung out at home for a little while in the afternoon (confession:  nap #2!) and then made our way to Seward Park so that Shane could do a triathlon training swim and I could catch a few more rays.  So many beautiful expanses of water right at our fingertips!  I was feelin’ some serious love for Seattle…

We spent the evening livin’ it up at Jack and La Verne’s big Independence Day bash.  There was food, there was music, there were friends and laughter and adorable round-bellied babies.  It was summer holiday perfection.

As we drove home along Lake Washington Boulevard, rogue fireworks bursting along the water’s edge, I sighed contentedly and silently counted my blessings – how thankful I am for friends, for sunshine, and for my life in this country, so rich with freedom and beauty.  Land that I love…

Well, well – look who came to visit!

Yep, the Giants are in town and it’s been an action-packed weekend, starting on a Friday night spent with Jack and La Verne at Safeco Field.  We entered the park with the throngs of other fans clad in orange in black, stalked Buster Posey for a few minutes, and then settled into our seats with a beer and a couple of bratwursts.  It was grand.

Oh, and guess who hit an upper-deck home run at his very first at-bat?  Just sayin’…

The Giants were up by two in the sixth and things were going swimmingly until Jack started to feel not-so-good.  Not-so-good quickly escalated to almost passing out, and within a few minutes he was put into an ambulance, all of us fearing that the bleeding ulcer that knocked him down three years ago had returned.  The ER doctor confirmed that was the case, and so Jack has spent the entire weekend under close watch at the hospital.  Thankfully, he’s feeling better and should be back at home tomorrow, but it certainly wasn’t how we’d hoped the evening would end…  (Jack, this is me kindly asking you to take your medicine!)

Saturday started early as our c-group gathered at Quest to kick off our first (annual?) Denim Dash 5k.  Our church gives each small group $200 every year and challenges us to bless our communities, and we decided to use our funds to make t-shirts and host a 5k race, with the intention of raising money and support for the Bridge Care Center, a homeless support center that was founded by Quest a couple of years ago.  We would take whatever money we made and use it to buy jeans, as the Bridge is always in need of clothing donations.  Thus, the idea for the Bridge to Bridge Denim Dash 5k was born, and we spent several weeks working out the details, mapping the route, and soliciting sign-ups.  We had our qualms about how many people would actually show up on that gray Saturday morning, but by 9:00, over 75 adults and kids had gathered to support our cause.  Shane led everyone to the starting line, and they were off!

Brian dressed in his finest, wanting to be extra-certain that no one missed the turn-around point.  Well done, bud.

This photo makes me laugh out loud – slow down, J!  Little Zebo is looking exceptionally wind-blown…

Women who can run while simultaneously pushing a stroller and giving a thumbs-up should get a medal.

Our smiles are indicative of our relief over how well it went!

The event was a complete success – the rain stayed away, everyone had a great time, and we more than tripled our money, meaning that we’ll be able to stock the Bridge with a pretty hefty supply of jeans!  This may be the first of many more Denim Dashes to come…

Shane and I were both beat by the time we got home, so we spent the afternoon vegging out and taking a pretty epic nap.  We listened to the Giants game on the radio in the evening and felt compelled to get out and enjoy the sunset as Dave Flemming and Jon Miller raved from Safeco Field about how beautiful the sky was.  We jetted over to Beacon Hill just in time to see the sun fall behind Seattle’s skyline, feeling thankful for a day full of so much activity and so much relaxation.

Today was yet another baseball-centric day – the sunshiny weather forecast looked like it was going to hold, so drove back over to Safeco in the morning to buy tickets for the afternoon game.  Shane scored a couple of cheap seats on the upper deck, and we were left with just enough time to make it to the Capitol Hill Farmer’s Market for lunch at Kedai Makan.  We thought last week’s fare from this Malaysian food stand was good, but this week proved to be even better – braised pork over noodles and curry chicken over rice?  Yes, please!

We headed back over to Safeco and spent awhile watching MadBum warm up in the bullpen – he was lookin’ good!  Our hopes were high.

But dang it, the Giants just couldn’t pull this one out.  Unfortunately, all-star pitching won’t get you very far if the rest of the team can’t knock in some runs.  The Mariners walked away with the win, and we walked away with our shoulders slumped in defeat.  I told Shane I was disappointed that this was the last time we’d see our team play this year.  He reminded me that we’d be making a trip down to San Francisco when the Giants make the play-offs.  His optimism is so endearing…

We ended the weekend with a trip to the hospital to see Jack, grateful that he’s on the mend and has the support of a woman as strong and caring as La Verne.  I know this has been an incredibly trying weekend for both of them, but they were full of smiles and jokes when we walked into his room – their positivity is so, so admirable.  Now let’s hope the Giants have at least a bit of Jack’s resilient spirit – clearly our friend doesn’t need the stress of any more losses!

I know people say that Summer doesn’t truly arrive in Seattle until the 4th of July, but after the weekend we had, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that my favorite season is coming early this year (gosh, I hope I didn’t just jinx it…).

We started our weekend with the Kate Lynn Logan and JJ Heller show at the Q Cafe. It was a great, chill night of music – JJ is lovely and adorable with a super-sweet voice and a husband that accompanies her perfectly on the guitar. And late night Happy Hour after the show with Jack and La Verne at Daniels’ Broiler wasn’t half-bad, either…

We were up early on Saturday to run in the “Free Them 5k”, a fundraiser organized by the life-changing folks at World Concern. It was inspiring to see so many people turn out for a such a good cause. And the run was a blast – not at all competitive, but just a bunch of friends out for a jog on a beautiful day.

We headed home after the race for a shower, and then grabbed our bikes and were back out the door to ride to Jack and La Verne’s for an afternoon barbecue. We made a quick stop at the ball fields down the street to watch some of the neighborhood kids take a whack at tee ball. And my goodness, they were so cute with their give-it-your-all swings and helmets bobbling as they rounded the bases.

After barbecue part one at Jack and La Verne’s, we rode back home for barbecue part two with Justin and Lindsey. Fresh salmon hot off the grill, good conversation with some of our favorite neighbors, and one incredibly adorable baby that made me giggle as she pushed her face up against the door for a game of peek-a-boo with Shane. I predict this is only the first of many backyard dinners to come over the next few months. Yessssssss…

5k’s are kind of like chump change for Shane these days – he was up at 6:00 this morning to head over to Kirkland for yet another half-marathon. Jack, La Verne and I staked out the finish line and cheered like crazy as he rounded the bend several minutes earlier than expected. My man is a total rockstar – 13.1 miles in 1 hour and 39 minutes. Insane! I’m so proud of him. He dedicated this run to his mom in honor of Mother’s Day and said he thought of her whenever he needed encouragement to push up a particularly tough hill – his super-fast time is proof that she has been so, so good to him.

Post-race, we headed to Capitol Hill to check out the Farmer’s Market, but finding that it wasn’t open yet, we settled on sandwiches and an outdoor table at Homegrown. News flash!: I believe I may have found the best breakfast sandwich in Seattle. A fluffy fried egg, perfectly crisp bacon, Beecher’s cheese, and a toasted potato bun. Wowsers, it was good.

We napped and watched baseball and sat out on the back porch this afternoon, soaking in the joy of a lazy, sunny Sabbath. I eventually worked up the energy to get out of the house for ice cream from Full Tilt – tell me this photo isn’t proof that Summer really is almost here!

We took our cones to-go and drove over to Genessee Park to lay on the grass and catch the last of the day’s rays next to the blue waters of Lake Washington.

Ahhhhh, the bliss of a Vitamin D high…